DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy and company belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB, 20^th Century FOX, and probably some more. 

Nightmare

Explanations

The City of Angels and Demons

A Time for Magic

The Sword of Truth

The Calm before the Storm

It was a bright, sunny almost-summer day in Sunnydale. Students were frantically studying for the torture better known as finals. Everything was normal, except in the remote and ignored room called the library. Otherwise known as Slayage headquarters.

Four Slayerettes watched the introduction of the Slayer’s mother into the wide world of demons by the Slayer’s Watcher.

"Alright! All right. So she’s the Slayer. You still haven’t told me where she is." Joyce Summers complained.

"We don’t know where she is. As far as we can tell, no one has seen her since that morning." Explained Rupert Giles in a frustrated voice.

"You must have some idea what happened to her."

"I am afraid the only way that we could know what happened to her, is to…"

His sentence was finished by a voice from behind the group. "…Talk to someone who was there." A very familiar voice.

As one they whirled to face the newcomer. A pin drop could have been heard in the stunned silence.

A dark, handsome man stood on mezzanine. He was dressed all in black; black that made his pale skin seem to glow. A faint smile played at the corners of his lips.

Willow was the first to break the silence, "Angel?" Her voice was incredulous. Angel was the one person no one had expected to see. "Where’s Buffy?"

Angel’s smile grew as he answered, "Around. She said that I could have the pleasure of talking to you first."

Willow started to walk towards the stairs, but her progress was interrupted by Xander’s command. "Wait, Will."

Turning to look back at him, "What is it?"

"That’s not Angel, Will."

Looking up at the vampire in confusion, "But the curse, it worked. I know it worked." Angel only smiled down at her.

"I don’t know about the curse, but Angel would never be this happy to see us, not after what he did."

In one smooth motion, Angel leaped over the railing and landed beside her. One look in his eyes and she knew that Xander was right, and that she was in serious trouble. Even as his hands encircled her throat, she heard his reply to her question. "Yes. The curse. Nasty things, curses. Luckily I had some help getting over it." His smile was a thing of pure evil now.

The other mortals spread apart, watching Angel and Willow, unsure of how to help her. Not one was holding a weapon, and the Slayer’s mother appeared to be on the verge of fainting.

Before anyone could make a move, a disappointed voice spoke from the library doors, "You promised!"

Torn between watching the evil before them, and evaluating the new threat behind them. The Slayerettes took a quick glance in the direction of the doors. A quick glance that quickly became a long stare. Almost as one they managed to gasp, "Buffy?!?"

Buffy, however, had eyes only for Angel. She repeated, "You promised!"

Angel quickly released his hold, held his hands up, and backed away a step. "They’re not hurt. I swear."

Buffy’s worried gaze swept the room, ascertaining for herself if his claims were accurate. Her eyes found his again, and she mumbled, "Sorry."

The Slayerettes slowly moved, clearing the area between vampire and vampire Slayer. Giles, who had been backing up towards the weapons, suddenly looked at Buffy hard. As if seeing her for the first time, he took in her fine features, her pale skin, and the smile that was beginning to grow on her face. A smile of predatory anticipation. Reality hit him like a physical blow, and he staggered back, whispering, "Oh my God."

The Slayer turned toward him. Her smile grew wider as she acknowledged the truth. "That’s right."

Joyce looked at her daughter in confusion, "Buffy. What’s going on? Where have you been? We’ve been looking for you."

The Slayer looked at her mother, and then glanced at Angel. They both turned back to Joyce, and their smiles hinted at secrecy, as they answered the question together, "We’ve been around."

In her best parental voice, Joyce spoke to her daughter. "This is crazy, where have you been? I have a right to know. I am your mother."

Buffy laughed. "Not anymore." Her mother looked at her in shock. And the Slayerettes seemed frozen in place. Buffy turned back to her partner and asked in a dreamy voice. "You killed your family and your friends?" He nodded. "But what’s the fun in that, you don’t get to watch them suffer?"

"True. But I was young then. Live and learn, as they say."

The Slayerettes, finally realizing the danger, began to edge away from the pair of vampires, who continued their discussion. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"Which ones should die?"

Angel pondered the question. "Well the Watcher and the girl have to go. They know too much. I certainly don’t want to get hit by that curse again."

Willow could handle it no longer, she took a step forward and pleaded with Buffy, "Buffy, we’re friends, right? Don’t you remember? You’re the Slayer, the Chosen One, fight it Buffy, I know you can win."

The two vampires turned to stare at her in disbelief. "That argument might have some meaning if I was still the Slayer, Will. But don’t you remember? We die; the soul departs. I’m a demon now, and do you know what? I like it." With three fast steps she reached Willow’s side, turned and threw her old friend into Angel’s arms. Angel caught the girl and turned a questioning glance on his partner. She shrugged. "A gift. She’s the one who hurt you. I figure you can have the pleasure." She turned back to the rest of the group. "Besides, I have a Watcher to kill."

Her smile of hunger and anticipation grew as she slowly stalked through the group. A group that seemed frozen in place, unable to move. As she walked, her face changed, transforming itself as the demon she had become surged free. Angel, also in vampiric form, lowered his head for the kill just as Buffy’s hands closed around her Watcher’s neck.

Giles snapped up in bed. Cold sweat drenched his face and he looked around in confusion. Even the sight of his room could not shake his mind free of the look in Buffy’s eyes in his nightmare. He slowly lowered his head to his hands and began to cry.

Joyce Summers, mother of the Slayer, stood in her only daughter’s room, and relived a familiar nightmare. She remembered the look on Buffy’s face as she informed her mother that she was the Vampire Slayer.

Joyce was still trying to reconcile herself with the fact that vampires were real. But that thing that had attacked her that night was undeniably a vampire. Therefore, vampires must be real. And her Buffy must be a Slayer. Joyce never liked the way that line of reasoning ended.

Looking around Buffy’s ransacked room, Joyce also remembered how the night ended. She remembered how Buffy told her that she could never stop being the Vampire Slayer. That she had to save the world. And when Joyce could not accept that, Buffy had walked out. When morning came, she had climbed up to this very room to talk to Buffy, to apologize. But Buffy had already come and gone.

Three days later, there was still no sign of her.

Joyce struggled for calm. There had to be a way to find her daughter, she just had to think of it. She thought back to the conversations she had had with Buffy since their move to Sunnydale. Who were the people she had spoken of? Buffy had talked about her friends Willow and Xander, of course. But she had also frequently mentioned Mr. Giles, the librarian. This, despite the fact that she would not even talk about her other teachers or classes. Mr. Giles had to know what was going on, and where her daughter was.

Sunnydale High, teenagers swarming through the halls with more reckless abandon the usual. Teacher’s breathing a huge sigh of relief. Call it chaos unleashed on earth. Call it the last day of classes.

There was great joy everywhere, except for one location. Call it the meeting place for the undead club; call it the library. Now four depressed students were gathered around the big table, and one extremely worried Watcher was pacing.

"So no one has seen or heard anything from her?" Giles asked again, almost begging them to tell him a different answer.

"Giles, I think we have established that fact." This from Xander, who spoke with only a trace of his normal sarcasm.

Willow stirred from her thoughts; "I wonder what happened to her?"

"What. You think something happened to her?" Oz was sitting next to her, holding one of her hands.

"She would have contacted us by now, unless there was some reason she couldn’t."

Cordelia added her observation; "Well she won, right? I mean the world didn’t end. So she had to have won."

Willow was attempting to fit logic to an illogical situation. "What do we know about what happened that morning?" She turned to Xander, who had seen the most. "What did you see?"

Xander thought through, again, what he had seen. "I only saw her for a moment after she went inside." The others nodded for him to continue. "She was fighting with a vamp. I only saw the rest of the room for a moment, before I went to find Giles, but it looked like Drusilla and Spike were fighting. I didn’t see Angel." He shook his head as something occurred to him. "Wait a sec. She was fighting that vamp hand to hand, she wasn’t using the sword."

Willow looked surprised at this comment and turned her attention to Giles. "What happened to the sword?"

"When we went back to the mansion we found one sword on the ground. The other was in the demon." Giles thought about it for a moment, before he realized something else. "The sword. It was in a different place. Which means that someone had to pull the sword out."

"And someone had to put a sword back in the demon." Willow finished his comment.

"Yes."

Cordelia asked the question of the hour. "But who?"

Willow added the question that no one wanted to hear, "And at what price?"

Before anyone could come up with an answer to either question the library doors opened. Five heads turned to the door in amazement. Who could possibly be checking out the library on the last day of classes?

Except this was no student. It was a very white faced Joyce Summers. She looked like she had gotten no sleep in the last three nights, but she also looked very determined.

"Mrs. Summers. Have you heard anything from Buffy?" Willow was the first to recover from the shock of seeing Buffy’s mother. She was also the one who had been keeping in contact with Mrs. Summers, trying to find Buffy.

"No. And I want to know why that is."

"Excuse me? We really have no idea where she is." Giles put in.

"You may not know where she is. I’m not sure that I believe that. But you do know what has been going on for the last year and a half. And I want to know what that is."

The Slayerettes stared at Joyce in even more shock, as Giles fumbled for a reply, "Yes, well, um. I am not quite sure what you mean."

"Well, I think you do. I want to know why she told me that she is a Vampire Slayer. Just what is a Vampire Slayer, anyway?"

"She said she was a what?" So much for the concept of secret identity.

"She said she was a Vampire Slayer." Joyce seemed to be struggling to remember something. She looked up at him in triumph and added, "and Spike said that you were her Watcher."

Everyone in the room gasped and looked at her in disbelief. Giles was the first to put his thoughts in order, "You spoke to Spike? When?"

"Buffy brought him home. The night she disappeared. Why?"

Giles looked back at the Slayerettes who were sitting at the table, they were busy trying to figure out what this meant. None of them had known she had talked with Spike.

Xander was the first to recover from the shock. "That makes sense. She said that she had gotten a lucky break, remember?" The last comment was directed at Willow, she nodded in reply. "But why would he help her?"

Joyce had clearly reached the end of her patience. "Would someone please tell me what is going on?"

Giles looked at the Slayerettes helplessly, before turning back to Joyce. Xander interrupted before he could begin. He got up from his seat and indicated that Joyce should sit down. "Believe me, you are gonna wanna be sitting down for this."

After Joyce had taken the seat. Giles began his introduction. "You wanted to know what a Slayer is?" At her nod he continued. "A Vampire Slayer is the Chosen One who is destined to hunt and kill vampires. To each generation a Slayer is born. One who has the strength and skill to hunt the vampires. To find them where they gather, and to stop the spread of their evil." Joyce just stared at him in mute incomprehension. Giles sighed, so much for the handbook, and tried again. "Vampires are evil. They hunt and kill humans. We are their prey. But as long as there have been vampires there has been the Slayer. One girl in all the world. She has their strength, she has their speed, she heals quickly, in other words, she is not a normal girl. Her destiny is to fight and kill the vampires, to keep evil from spreading through the world. Buffy is the Slayer now. It is her destiny to fight evil in all its forms."

Joyce struggled with that concept for a moment or two. Then she nodded for Giles to continue.

"The previous Slayer died almost two years ago. The Watcher network was alerted, but we were unable to locate the new Slayer for several months. This, despite the fact that several girls were under our care, they had been trained because they could become Slayers. But none of them were activated. It took us a long time to find your daughter. Not one of us had seen her destiny coming. Once we found her, we realized that she must still live in the normal world, so she was trained in secret."

Joyce interrupted. "Wait." She held up a hand and thought furiously for a moment. "Who’s we?"

Giles looked embarrassed for a moment. "Oh yes, we, that is the Watchers. As long as there have been Slayers there have been Watchers. We guide, we teach, we train the Slayer." He looked at Joyce to see if she understood. Joyce nodded her head for him to proceed. "When she moved here she became my responsibility. It is crucial that in this time, a Slayer is here."

"Why here, why Sunnydale?"

"Because this is Hellmouth. The one place in all the world where evil converges. We are entering the End Times of prophecy. The final showdown between good and evil is approaching. The Slayer must stop the demons from returning to claim the mortal world."

"Buffy is responsible for all that?"

"Yes."

Joyce’s face flickered with many emotions, as she fought to assimilate the new information. Finally she looked up from her seat and said, "Okay. Let me see if I have this straight." Giles nodded for her to continue. "There are demons. And they are evil." Giles nodded encouragingly. "There are also vampires, and they kill people." The Slayerettes were nodding too, agreeing with Joyce’s analysis. "And one girl in all the world, who just happens to be my daughter, has to kill them?"

"Yes. That about sums it up."

"And you have been helping her."

"Yes."

Joyce turned to her daughter’s friends, "And you too?"

They looked at each other and then back at Joyce, Willow was the one who answered, "Yes, Mrs. Summers."

"Okay. Then where is she?"

"We don’t know. But you seem to have information we lack." Joyce looked back to Giles in surprise. "We hadn’t known that she talked to Spike before she disappeared. Why don’t you tell us what they talked about, and then we will tell you what we know about the circumstances leading to her disappearance?"

Joyce looked at him suspiciously, but related her story. "I was driving home from trying to find her. She was walking up to the house with Spike. Then we got attacked by a vampire." Joyce shuddered. "And Buffy killed it. Then she told me she was a Vampire Slayer." Joyce thought about it for a moment. "She talked to Willow on the phone, and then came back to talk to Spike. Spike told her that he would help her kill Angel, if she let him and, um, Drusilla, leave." She looked at the others in confusion. But they nodded as if this made sense. "She said that Drusilla had killed Kendra, but Spike insisted that there was no deal without her. She agreed and then told him to get back to the mansion." Joyce looked at Giles. "She told him that if you died, she would kill Drusilla. That’s all I know."

Giles sighed; he had clearly hopped for more information. But he kept his part of the bargain. "Well, last weekend an artifact was discovered. It contained the remains of a demon, Acathla." Giles stopped to make sure that Joyce was still tracking. She appeared to be following the explanation. Of course, how much she was actually taking in was an interesting question. He continued, "Angel managed to steal it. He wanted to wake Acathla up. The demon, once awake, would suck the entire world into Hell." Joyce looked shocked.

"I thought that Angel was Buffy’s boyfriend."

Giles could think of no easy reply to that. Xander, of course, was much quicker, "He was. But not anymore. Now he wants to kill her and destroy the world. Not necessarily in that order."

The other Slayerettes glared at him. He glared back at them, as if daring them to contradict his words. Since they couldn’t, they returned their gazes to the Slayer’s mother. She seemed unsure of what to do with this comment, so she let it go. She looked at Giles, "Um, continue please."

"Buffy went to stop him. Xander got me out. But no one knows how Buffy’s battle with Angel went. When we went back to the mansion, there was no sign of anyone. The vampires were all gone, Acathla was asleep, and there was no Slayer."

"What about Angel?"

"We don’t know."

Joyce hung her head for a moment, and then reached into her pocket. She pulled out a note; "I found this that morning." She handed it Giles. He read it in shock. Then looked at her in surprise. He didn’t know how to ask her what it meant.

Finally he looked at the Slayerettes, and said, "Well, at least we know she is alive. Or she was a few days ago."

"So where is she?"

"I wish we knew, I really do."

Later that night, the four friends were walking through the graveyard. They walked cautiously, stakes and crosses held ready.

They reached a fresh grave. Giles had sent them to this spot. This death looked vampire caused, which meant there was a good chance they would have a new vampire to kill this night. The four clustered around the grave and waited.

Shortly after, they heard the sound of ground moving and saw a clawed hand break the surface. They quickly took up their slayer stances, trying to be like Buffy. The new vampire burst from the ground. It looked at its audience in surprise, and snarling attacked. Cordelia fell to the ground before its charge, but the other’s managed to surround it with crosses.

It seemed dazed and confused. And the Slayerettes quickly jabbed with stakes. Only one made it into the vampire’s heart. But one was enough. The vampire collapsed backwards and turned into dust before it hit the ground.

Unfortunately for the Slayerettes, their attention was focused entirely on the problem before them, and they had no attention to spare to the problem behind them. A problem which picked Oz up, and threw him into the stunned Cordelia. Xander turned in time to get a cross between himself and the vampire that was about to bite him. Oz managed to recover, and attempted to rush the vampire, but a solid hit to the face sent him back to the ground. The vampire knocked the cross from Xander’s hands, and closed for the kill. Willow rushed the vampire from behind, and brought her stake through its back with all her strength.

The vampire exploded, covering Xander with dust.

Xander carefully brushed the dust off of his hunting clothes, while Cordelia and Oz nursed their bruises. Willow reached into her pocket and pulled out the cellular phone that Giles had given them. She quickly dialed a number and began her report to the Watcher.

Everyone had the same thought, where was Buffy when she was needed?

A long way away, another girl was facing a snarling vampire. She was in a dismal alley, and the only light was the sickly orange glow of the sky. She looked at the vampire without any expression on her face, but there was an unholy glow to her eyes.

She pulled a stake out from under her shirt, and the vampire lost its smile. It slowly backed up a step, but before it could make any other move, the girl bounded forward in a blur of motion and the stake was embedded in the demon’s heart.

The girl sneered at the vampire as it turned to dust. Then she carefully picked up the stake and turned to resume hunting.

The same girl stood leaning on the railing that marked the edge of the roof of an apartment building. She watched the sun slowly rise over the horizon. Its warm glow glinted on her tangled blond hair. She wore no trace of makeup, and her clothes were ripped and dirty. She looked at the ground, three stories below. For just a moment, she considered. But then she returned her gaze to the sunrise.

As she looked at the sun, her expression was filled with bottomless pain.

Buffy Summers, once the Slayer, watched the entrance to the club. She did not know what club it was, but some instinct told her that this was a feeding ground. She glanced around the alley, and wondered briefly if it was because the surrounding alleys would make killing easy and that the manholes leading into the storm drains made avoiding sunlight easier. She had watched people come in and out of the club for almost an hour, but still there was no sign of vampires.

A man walked out. He was escorted by two ditsy looking blondes. However, Buffy was not fooled by looks. The two girls had pale skin, a definite rarity in this city. As the threesome walked down the alley, Buffy followed.

The girls led the man deeper into the alley. They seemed completely unaware of the fact that they were being followed. Buffy quietly pulled a stake from her belt, and started to close the distance.

The alley led to a dead end. Buffy turned the final corner and the paused in surprise. She had expected two vampires, not the large group that was starting to circle the terrified victim. She shrugged to herself, and then quietly closed the gap to the closest vampire. She staked it in one motion, and as it imploded she was already heading for the second.

As the second vampire died the others became aware of their danger. They turned to the threat, releasing their almost meal. The man turned and ran out the alley. Buffy sneered back at the eight growling faces. One of the blondes, now wearing her vampire face, looked at Buffy in shock. "The Slayer." She hissed in disbelief. The others looked between the vampire and Buffy.

Buffy only threw the stake with all her strength. It embedded itself in the blonde’s heart, and a moment later she was dust. The other vampires charged.

If she had been sane, Buffy might have run. As it was, she attacked. She pulled her backup stake out, and slew the vampire that reached her first, a quick spin kick backed up the next two. The fourth she managed to trip. But the fifth and sixth pinned her by shear force of weight, and the seventh closed for the kill. A quick head butt kept that one at bay, as she attempted to free herself from the others.

The vampires were looking at her so hard; they never noted the new presence in the alley mouth. A strange girl with long black hair took in the scene with one look and then charged at the vampires with a stake in each hand. She managed to kill the two that had Buffy pinned, before the others figured out that she was present.

The stranger threw Buffy a stake and then charged at the vampires on the ground. Buffy used a few lighting kicks to distract the final two. She managed to stake them without much trouble. She turned back to the stranger in time to see both of them do the dust-implosion thing.

The stranger looked Buffy over carefully. Buffy seemed unaware of the look, as she turned and carefully picked up the stakes she had used in the fight. The stranger came to the obvious conclusion. "You’re the Slayer." The words were spoken in a tone of reverence.

"No, I’m not."

The stranger seemed surprised and puzzled, but she held out a hand. "Uh, hi, my name is Rhianna, but people just call me Anna."

Buffy ignored the outstretched hand as she walked passed Anna and back into the alleys. Anna looked startled for a moment, and then turned to follow.

"What’s your name?"

Buffy ignored the question.

"Look it’s only an hour until sunrise." Buffy paused for a moment, and glanced at the sky, ascertaining that the words were true. Then she turned and continued her patrol.

Anna muttered something under her breath, and then looked at the retreating Slayer. Buffy was to busy looking ahead to notice that Anna’s eyes were glowing. The glow lasted for only a few moments before it faded.

Anna stopped walking in shock; her eyes fixed on the Slayer. She had never seen anyone with an aura like that. So much pain. She recovered in another moment and hurried to catch up with the Slayer.

"Where are you going?"

"I’m hunting."

"Mind if I tag along?"

Buffy didn’t answer.

An hour later weak dawn light filtered through the fog. Buffy and Anna walked side by side down a street. Buffy still seemed uninterested in conversation, but it was too much work to try and get rid of the girl that seemed determined to tag along.

Anna looked at the Slayer in concern. "Are you hungry?"

"No."

"Where do you sleep?"

"I don’t."

Anna sighed. This was getting nowhere. "C’mon." She took the Slayer’s arm and led her down a street. Buffy resisted for a moment, but then decided she had nothing better to do, so she followed obediently.

Anna led the Slayer to a hotel, and fifteen minutes later she had a room for two. She looked the Slayer over, and made a decision. "First order of business. Shower." She pointed at the bathroom. Buffy looked down at herself quickly and then back up at Anna. "Won’t it feel good?"

Buffy shrugged. Anna sighed, and shooed the Slayer into the bathroom. Then she went to make some phone calls.

Fifteen minutes later a bellboy delivered her baggage and some food. Her baggage consisted of one small bag and a laptop computer. She carefully extracted a few clothes from the bag and waited. She heard the sounds of water stop and carefully tossed the clothes into the bathroom. "Clean clothes."

Shortly afterwards, the Slayer emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing a baggy T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Buffy was carefully combing the tangles from her hair. Anna looked at her for a moment and then walked her over to the small table. "Breakfast."

Buffy looked at it, but made no move to start eating.

Anna sighed, "Look, I have no idea what’s up with you. But you have to eat." Buffy looked up in denial. "I will stuff it down your throat if I have to, but you will eat it." Buffy sighed, picked up a fork, and began to munch unenthusiastically on the scrambled eggs.

After another moment, Anna started to eat also. She looked at the Slayer critically. She looked very bad. Now that the grime was washed away, she was very pale. Pain had etched faint lines around her eyes, and she looked older than her years. She looked like she hadn’t slept in weeks.

Her ears were pierced in several places, but she wore no earrings. Anna took another look, searching for jewelry. She found only a large silver cross, clearly an antique. And she saw light flash off a silver ring on her left hand.

She took a breath, and then plunged in. "Do you want me to call your Watcher?"

Buffy looked at her in surprise. And pain. "No. Don’t call him. Don’t call any of them. I’m not the Slayer anymore. I can’t go back." The words were broken, but the meaning came across.

Anna rushed to comfort. "Don’t worry. I won’t call them. I promise." She had a feeling that if she broke that promise, the girl would leave, and she would never see her again. That thought filled her with fear. This girl needed help, and she was not going to get it unless she was watched. "I’m not a Watcher." She assured the Slayer. "But I’ll look out for you."

Buffy thought about this for a moment, and then shrugged in agreement. She looked down at her plate, and realized that it was clean. Anna also glanced at the empty plate, and asked "Are you still hungry?" Buffy shook her head, Anna decided to take that at face value.

She took a quick look around the room, and then turned back to the Slayer. "Why don’t you lie down. I’ll run out and get you some clothes." Buffy started to say something, but Anna cut her off with a smile and a light tone, "Don’t worry, they’ll be clothes you can Slay in."

Buffy just shook her head, and realizing that she would have no choice, she went to lie down on one of the beds. She listened as Anna finished her own breakfast, and then headed out the door. She stared up at the ceiling, and thought about the strange turn of events that her life had taken. She wondered briefly if it was for better or worse, but then decided it did not matter, nothing mattered. Not anymore.

Buffy knelt besides a small pool. It was dark around; the only light came from the image glowing faintly on the surface of the pool.

She looked at the image. Angel stood in a circle of flame. The flames slowly came closer and closer, his face showed fear and he looked around desperately for an escape, any escape.

She heard his voice calling to her, "Buffy? Where are you?"

She tried to reach out and help him, but her hands hit the surface of the pool, shattering the image. She withdrew them in shock.

Buffy looked down at her hands. They were covered in blood. She slowly bent her head and cried.

Rhianna returned to the hotel room and saw the Slayer in bed she was tossing and turning, and seemed to be in pain. She rushed to her side and saw that the Slayer was caught in dreams.

Reaching out with her right hand, she touched a finger to the girl’s forehead. "Sleep." She commanded. The girl relaxed into a dreamless sleep, and Anna sighed in relief, determined to keep better watch over this girl.

Rhianna carefully trailed behind the Slayer as she hunted. The girls moved fluidly through the night, disturbing nothing. A scream tore through the night. The two had no way of knowing if it was caused by a vampire, but they ran towards it anyway.

Buffy sprinted around the corner of an alley, a stake ready in one hand. Four vampires surrounded one human victim. Two of the vamps looked like they had come from a gang, dressed in studded black leather with rings piercing various body parts. The other two looked like a normal middle age couple, except for their faces of course.

The man dropped the victim, Buffy knew from the way that the human fell, he was already dead. Buffy faced the four as they spread out to surround her. Anna reached her side stake in hand. But Buffy had no idea how well the stranger could fight.

The four vampires charged as one. The stranger moved to intercept one. She ducked underneath its swing and used a couple of kicks to trip it. A quick staking through its back and it was dust. Buffy dealt a quick face punch to the vampire closest to her, as it reeled back she dodged between the other two. As they collided Buffy spun in place and delivered a kick to the head of one, and a stake to the heart of the other. As vampire number two turned into dust, Buffy was already moving to stake the other. Unfortunately, she had turned her back on the first vampire, and as it recovered from her punch it moved to grab her by the neck.

The last surviving vampire had a firm hold on Buffy’s neck. She felt herself lifted off the ground, but she held herself motionless. She knew that if she was going to kill this vamp, she needed to move at the perfect time, so she waited for her chance.

The chance never came. Buffy saw something bright flash in front of her, and felt the vampire grunt in pain as it released her. As she fell to the ground she saw Anna standing a few feet away. Her crystal earring was glowing as brightly as her eyes and she seemed to be clutching a ball of energy. The vampire took one look at the girl, and then turned to run. It never got the chance, Anna threw the energy and when it hit the vampire the vampire went up in flames.

Buffy slowly stood up and faced the stranger. "Who are you?"

Anna stopped glowing as she dropped the magic from ready use. "I’m a friend." She was completely unprepared for the look of pain and loss that crossed the Slayer’s face. She reached out instinctively. "What is it?"

Buffy only shook her head and turned away. "Nothing." After a moment Anna moved to follow the Slayer.

Anna decided that the only way to get answers to her questions was to ask. "If you are not the Slayer, then why do you hunt vampires?"

The girl’s expression filled with pain, but her voice was steady as she answered. "Someone has to."

"Yes, someone does. The Slayer."

Buffy turned on her new companion in anger. "I am not the Slayer." Pain replaced anger quickly. "Do you know why I hunt them? Because, I lost someone to them." Buffy looked at the surprised expression on Anna’s face, and gave a tiny gallows laugh. "This is vengeance."

The two girls prowled down one of the alleys in their new hunting grounds. Buffy had already killed two vampires this night.

Buffy turned to look at the stranger who was determined to keep up with her. Determined that Buffy would not do anything stupid. Buffy was not sure whether she was grateful or annoyed.

She stopped for a moment, and Anna took the chance to catch her breath. The Slayer looked at her, and then turned and held out her hand. Unsure of what was happening, Anna took the hand in her own.

Buffy looked her in the eye and said, "My name is Buffy."

"It’s a pleasure to meet you Buffy."

Buffy just turned and walked back into the night. But Anna smiled as she turned to follow.

Rhianna looked around the apartment. She was always afraid that when she woke up Buffy would be gone. That fear kept her from sleeping very much, but unlike the Slayer she needed some sleep.

But this afternoon the Slayer was still in the apartment, working on her weapons. "Buffy?"

The ex-Slayer looked up from her stake sharpening. "Hmm?"

Anna asked, "I was wondering if you would like to try out a new weapon."

Buffy took a quick look out the windows, judged that there were still a few hours left before sunset. And said, "Sure."

Anna carefully removed the crystal earring from her right ear and held it out to Buffy. Buffy looked at it in confusion. "This is a weapon?"

"Yes. I use it to focus my spells."

"I thought witches used cauldrons and stuff like that?"

"Well I’m not exactly a witch. I have a lot of powers like witchcraft, but my magic is based on different things."

"Really?"

"Yes, most of my magic is based on consent." Buffy looked doubtful. "I know it doesn’t seem that way, since most of what you have seen me do is tap into power flows. In order to use my magic fully I must have consent."

Buffy was still confused, but she decided she really did not have the background to understand. To change the subject, she took the earring and looked at it. "Okay. But how will it help me? I’m not a witch."

"True. But I have discovered a way that I can store spells inside of it. I think that I have keyed it so that you can use those spells."

Buffy looked back at it. Something almost like interest stirred in her gaze. Anna was cheered to see some life return to her face. "Sounds interesting. How does it work?"

"Well, the best way to start is for you to reach out with your senses," she was very careful to avoid saying Slayer senses, "and try and feel what’s inside it."

Buffy held the earring in one hand and stared at it in concentration. A look of surprise crossed her face, and she turned back to Anna. "Yeah, I feel something. It’s almost like a humming. Like there is some energy trying to get out." She looked confused, "That’s not right, but I don’t know how to say what it’s like."

Anna smiled, "That’s alright. After all, I cast the spell. We all have different ways of feeling power. The important thing is that you can feel it. The spell that I stored in that," she waved a hand in the direction of the earring, "was a simple light spell. Now, if I did this right you just concentrate on what you want to light up, and then release the energy through yourself."

Buffy looked around the room for a moment, and then concentrated on the stake in her lap. She looked at it for several minutes, before it suddenly began to glow brightly. She looked back up at Anna. "Thanks."

"Well, that particular spell won’t be that useful to you, but it is a start. I can add more spells, maybe even some complicated ones."

Buffy did not respond. She just carefully placed the crystal earring in her own ear. She could wear it without it hindering her movements, good.

Xander and Willow walked through the early twilight. Keeping a wary eye out for vampires, of course. Oz had a gig and had agreed to take the late patrol shift with Giles. Cordelia was out of town with her parents. She would be gone for at least a couple of weeks. Summer vacation triumphed over Slaying. Not that any vampires had been seen in Sunnydale in the last couple of weeks. Giles, however, was convinced that they were not gone, just waiting. Meanwhile, patrols had been extremely boring. Of course, boring was better than exciting, for patrols at least.

Xander suddenly stopped as a strange thought crossed his mind.

Willow took another step before she realized that he wasn’t walking anymore, and then looked back to assess the situation. Looking at his face she asked, "What is it?"

"Amy."

"Who?"

"Amy." At her blank look, "You know, Amy, the witch?"

Willow looked around in confusion; "I don’t see her."

"No Will, she’s not here. I mean that maybe she can help us."

Willow looked at him in doubt. "Xander, you do remember what happened the last time she tried to help you?"

"No, not help like that. I mean maybe she can find Buffy?"

Willow suddenly looked excited. "Let’s go find Giles."

The two headed off in a run.

A vampire slammed into a cement wall. It looked up in fear as the figure approached it. The girl’s eyes were glowing, but it was still stunned from impact and all it could do was watch as a stake came down and ended its unlife.

Buffy watched as it crumbled into dust, and then turned back to Anna, who as usual, trailed behind her. "That was a useful spell. What was it?"

"A kinetic blast. I think that will probably be your most useful spell. It takes a bit more concentration to direct, so I have waited to introduce it to you."

"Well, there are more vampires around, so lets go find them."

The two continued their hunt.

It was a bright summer afternoon. The kind of summer day that teenagers love to spend doing absolutely nothing productive. Unfortunately the library contained four teenagers who were attempting to do something productive.

"You dragged me out to school during the summer, for what?" Amy demanded.

Giles patiently answered, "Yes. And I am sorry. But Buffy is missing. We think you can locate her with your witchcraft."

"You want me to do what?" Amy looked around the group in surprise.

"We want you to find Buffy?"

"Isn’t missing persons something better directed at the police?"

"Something may have happened to her. Something mystical." Amy still looked doubtful so Giles said in a hard voice, "Look. Buffy helped you get your body back. You owe her."

Amy sighed and gave up. She had dealt with them before, and she knew this crowd was not going to let her do anything else. "Okay. But I will need some object of hers."

Willow looked up with a smile, "That’s easy. I can get it."

"Okay, tomorrow then."

Amy turned and walked out the library door.

Willow and Mrs. Summers looked around Buffy’s room. Willow immediately walked to her friend’s jewelry collection. Not surprisingly, there were a large number of crosses hanging from necklaces. She searched the collection carefully, then took a look through the bracelets, rings, and earrings.

Willow straightened up with a sigh of disappointment.

"What is it, Willow?"

"Well. There were just a couple of pieces that Buffy was really fond of. But it looks like she must have taken them." Willow looked at the collection again and then back at the Slayer’s mother. "I guess that is not surprising."

"What do you mean? Why did you want those pieces?"

Willow sighed again, "They were gifts from Angel." She ignored the question that Joyce looked at her, and picked up another necklace. "She wore this one a lot this year." Then she turned and walked out the room.

The science lab was marked with strange markings, and a potion of some sort bubbled on a Bunsen burner. Amy had just finished her invocations, and she dropped the necklace into the beaker.

Giles and the Willow avidly watched the process. Oz and Xander were patrolling.

Amy stared into beaker for another moment or two, and then looked up at her audience. "I am not sure what happened."

"What did you see?"

"Nothing. It’s like the necklace didn’t belong to anyone. Are you sure that it was Buffy’s?"

Giles turned to look at Willow.

"Yes I’m sure. She wore it to school often. It was one of her favorites."

Amy asked, "But not her favorite?"

"No. That one was gone."

Giles looked at Amy, "Should that have made a difference?"

"No. I don’t understand it. It’s like the person who wore that," she pointed to the necklace in the beaker, "doesn’t exist anymore."

Giles frowned in thought, "I wonder. Could something have happened to her? Something to change who she was enough that the psychic impressions on the necklace would no longer match her own?"

Amy struggled with that concept. "Yeah, it is possible. But you are talking about a pretty major psychic shock."

Willow added, "Well, if that’s what happened, how do we find her?"

"A physical connection."

Willow and Giles looked at each other, and then turned to face the witch. Together the said, "Her mother."

Dawn at the duo’s new apartment. Buffy and Rhianna walked in. Anna headed immediately to check on her computer to see the progress on her newest decryption run. She studied it for a moment and the sighed and turned back to watch as Buffy pulled off her Slaying clothes. Looking at the numerous numbers of cuts and rips in those clothes, she decided a shopping trip was in order.

Buffy started to pull out her weapons, meaning to check on them, when Anna stopped her with a look. "Eat something." Buffy pouted at her. "You need to eat. It was a hard day. There will be plenty of time to check the weapons before sunset."

Buffy sighed, and headed for the kitchen and a bowl of cereal. A moment later Anna followed her, joining her for breakfast. Buffy looked up and commented, "I felt something really weird last night."

"Weird how?"

"That’s just it. I’m not sure. It’s like something was searching for me, but when it touched me it just vanished."

Anna thought hard for a moment. "Sounds like a possible search spell. Generally requires a personal object. Do you know someone who would and could use such a spell to find you?"

Buffy looked down at her breakfast and didn’t answer.

"Do you want me to shield you so that no one can find you?"

Buffy looked up in startlement. "Can you do that?"

"Yes. Do you want me to?"

"Yes. I can’t face them, not now." Her voice broke on her last words.

"Okay. I will cast it while you sleep."

"Sleep?" Buffy was surprised.

"Yes. You need it. You haven’t slept in the last week." Anna looked concerned. She continued in a lighter voice. "Besides, it will be easier to cast the shield if you are asleep."

"I can’t sleep."

"Yes, you can and you will. I will take your dreams from you; you will have no nightmares. And I will guard your sleep, I promise."

"But what about your sleep?"

"I’m the one who’s gotten sleep the last week, not you."

"Alright."

Another night, another spell in the science lab. This time Amy had used Joyce’s blood in her potion. She finished her invocations and studied the depths of the beaker.

Giles, Willow, and Mrs. Summers watched the process anxiously.

Suddenly the potion was filled with light and bubbled vigorously. Amy quickly backed away from it, before it exploded. The room was filled with a cloud of vapor and stank.

The group ran into the hallway before they choked to death. Giles gasped at Amy, "What happened?"

"Well I found something. But when I tried to look at it, I hit something." She looked confused. "I’m not sure what, but then the power backlashed, and that happened." She waved a hand in the direction of the smoky lab.

The four looked into the ruins of the science lab.

Willow summed up their information, "Oh my."

Amy looked at the group defiantly. "I don’t care why you want this done, I am not helping anymore. Do you have any idea what can happen when power backlashes?" The other three stared at the witch in surprise. "Well, my father is taking me on vacation tomorrow. I will not help you with Buffy anymore." With those words Amy stomped off, leaving the others no wiser than when they had started this course of action.

Cordelia, Xander, Willow, and Giles clustered around the library table. Giles was speaking of his latest research.

"I have contacted as much of the Watcher network as I can. And as far as I know, no Slayer has been activated."

"Well, that’s good right?" Cordelia put in.

"Well, it does not guarantee that she is alive, but it certainly helps." Giles looked thoughtful for a moment. "Of course, even if there was a new Slayer, it wouldn’t mean that Buffy was dead."

The rest of the group looked confused for a moment.

Xander was the first to traverse the correct logic path. "Kendra."

"One Slayer died. Since there has never been a case of two Slayers before it’s hard to know if the death of one of them will cause the activation of the next, or if it will take the death of both."

"You mean there could be two Slayers forever?"

"No one knows."

Buffy walked the streets of the City of Angels. This was the fourth neighborhood that was full of vampires. Granted, Anna did her best to find the most fruitful hunting grounds, but still, why was there so many vampires here? As she asked herself the question, she realized with mild surprise that she could actually be curious about something.

Anna, as usual, was trailing behind the Slayer. She saw Buffy pause and frown in concentration. Wondering what the girl had sensed, she asked quietly, "What is it?"

To her complete surprise, Buffy answered with a question. "Why are there so many vampires here?" Anna pondered the question, as Buffy continued to patrol.

Finally, Anna said, "I don’t know. As far as I could gather there was a huge influx of vampires about a year ago." She sighed. "But I have found no evidence of vampire leaders, so I have no idea why this large of a group would come here."

Buffy thought this over absently, as she continued to scan with her senses. Then she stopped dead as a thought occurred to her. "The Master."

"Hmm?"

"Do you know about a vampire called The Master?"

"Yes, a very powerful, very old vampire. Came to America about a hundred years ago. He disappeared, without a trace, soon after that."

"Yeah, he tried to open the Hellmouth. But he got caught in an inter-dimensional thingy. I spent my first five months at the Hellmouth trying to keep him from freeing himself."

Anna was stunned. She had never heard Buffy giving away this much of her background before. Also, this information involved the End Times.

"Anyway, he managed to free himself." For a moment Buffy’s face was haunted. But she continued. "His minions had created an army, and it was gathered when he got out." She took a deep breath, and finished the explanation. "When I killed him, that army just vanished. There were no vampire sightings on the Hellmouth over the summer."

Anna shook her head in disbelief. Buffy had killed The Master? Incredible, she was indeed something special. She couldn’t stop herself from echoing. "You killed The Master?"

Buffy looked mildly annoyed to be reminded. "Yeah. But the thing is, could that army have come here?"

Anna thought that over for a moment and the agreed that it was possible. "Sure." The two continued their patrol.

Buffy caught the unmistakable feel of a vampire, and nearby. She quickly switched to hunt mode. Her senses focused on the vampire, showing her its location. She rushed down a nearby alley, a stake taken from her belt in her hand.

She burst onto a familiar scene. A vampire was drinking at the neck of a young victim. This vampire seemed to be getting kicks out of the victim’s fear, because it hadn’t killed the girl yet. The girl appeared to be around sixteen, probably a run-away, easy food for the vamp. Buffy’s punch to the vampires face took away the easy meal. The girl collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Buffy was not sure if she was dead or alive, but that determination would have to wait until the vampire was dead.

The vampire had the form of a middle age man. Slightly bald, slightly overweight, nothing to distinguish him in a crowd. Unless you saw him now, the vampire face is pretty hard to miss. Buffy used a power blast to throw him into the wall. The vamp looked very surprised as she ended its unlife with a stake through its heart.

She heard Anna come up behind her. "You shouldn’t waste power like that. It’s not infinite you know. And it’s not really good for your body to channel power."

Buffy sighed at this familiar complaint, and turned to look at the victim. She was breathing regularly. Good, she would be fine.

Buffy and Anna walked slowly back to their apartment; the way was lit by the weak daylight showing through the fog. Buffy was still thinking; for some reason her head felt clear today.

She turned to Anna and asked another question that had been troubling her, "Do you know how The Master freed himself?"

Anna shook her head in denial.

"He used my blood." Her hand raised itself to her neck involuntarily. She remembered the pain of being bitten. It was not a pleasant memory. She pushed it aside; she had a lot of practice with that. "What I don’t understand is why he needed my blood. I mean, I know that his minions brought him food. I tried to stop it, but I wasn’t always successful." Buffy’s eyes were briefly haunted by the number of people that she had failed to save over the last two years.

Anna saw the look in her eyes, and quickly answered the question. "Well, you are a Slayer. Your blood is very powerful. He could use that power to free himself." She looked at the Slayer in surprise. "I am surprised that you managed to survive a bite from a vampire as powerful as The Master."

Buffy almost smiled. "Well I didn’t, exactly. When he was done he tossed me into a pool and I drowned. Luckily some people saved me." Anna looked at the pain on her face, and decided not to push the subject.

Buffy walked through the door of a familiar mansion. In her right hand she carried the sword. Dimly she thought, this is not supposed to be happening.

But it was happening. She walked into the familiar room. But the familiar scene was not there. Instead Angel knelt in the center of the room, alone. He seemed unaware of her presence, and he was crying.

She walked a step closer. "Angel?"

He looked up at her voice. "Buffy?" There were tears on his face, but he smiled at her in welcome. A smile of such love that it melted her heart. He got to his feet as she walked closer.

A figure appeared behind him. Before she could move, she saw the tip of a wooden stake appear though his heart. She reached out in hopeless denial, as he called her name and died. But rather than turn to dust, he turned to flame. But in the end, he was still gone.

She turned to his attacker in rage. But stopped in shock.

Buffy was facing herself.

The other Buffy wore dark hunting clothes and held the stake in one hand. The reflection spoke to her, "He needed to die. He was a vampire. I’m the Slayer."

Buffy whispered, "No."

The other spoke again. "He would have destroyed the world. I couldn’t allow that. Not for any reason."

Buffy felt only anger. She raised the sword that she still held and embedded it in the chest of the other Buffy. The other girl looked at her in surprise, and vanished.

Buffy felt pain. She looked down at the wound in her own chest. Her hand came away with blood. She slowly collapsed to the floor, holding the wound. Her surroundings seemed to be fading into darkness.

A figure appeared before her. She recognized the form of her Watcher. Giles spoke to her, "Come home Buffy. You are needed."

Buffy looked up. The pain was unbearable. Thought was so very hard. "Why?"

"Because you are the Slayer. You alone stand against the forces of darkness."

Buffy screamed her denial at the Watcher. "Never. I am not the Slayer, not anymore. Find someone else to save the world." She lowered her head, not watching as the figure vanished.

She felt a presence behind her. She did not have the strength to rise, but she slowly turned and looked up. She watched numbly as Angel slowly knelt beside her. Dimly she wondered what was going on, but all her thoughts were sinking into the pain.

Angel looked her over critically, then spoke. "So, you have destroyed yourself."

Buffy stared at him in shock. Looking into his eyes she saw no trace of the love that they had once shared. "I guess that is not terribly surprising. You destroyed me twice. Why not yourself?" His voice was calm, almost emotionless. But then it changed; she heard the anger and pain in it. "I loved you, and you didn’t save me." She saw his smile as he slowly stood up. He turned to leave her, and as he walked away she heard his voice again. "Now, I return the favor."

The pain of the wound vanished before the pain generated by those words. She tried to call out to the retreating form, but could think of no words. Then he was gone, and she was alone.

Before she could think of anything a figure of light appeared before her. She could not make out any features but they didn’t matter anyway. She was dying. And that was as it should be. The figure held out a hand. Buffy looked at in surprise. "Take my hand." It commanded.

Buffy thought that she heard Angel’s voice from a great distance, "Take it, love. Don’t die." She reached out with great effort, and laid her hand on the figure’s.

The dream vanished.

Rhianna reached out and shook her friend. When that failed to wake the sleeper, she reached out with her mind and tried to force the girl awake. For a few moments she was not sure if that was going to pull Buffy out of her dreams. But eventually the Slayer stirred and approached consciousness.

Anna stood next to her and tried to be comforting. "Bad dream?"

"Yeah." Buffy shook off the hand that Anna had laid on her arm. She looked around the room in a daze.

"I’m sorry. That was the strongest spell I had. If your dreams are getting through it, you have to look for other ideas." Buffy seemed oddly vulnerable. Anna decided to take the chance. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No." Buffy shook her head, "But I guess I should." She looked at her friend. "You deserve to know the truth."

"Have you read the Watchers’ Diaries?"

"Yes." Anna nodded at the computer, setup on her bed. "I even have a copy of most of them in electronic form. Why?"

"Do you know of the vampire called Angelus?"

"Yes. He was well known in Europe. Quite possibly the most vicious vampire in the last four hundred years." Anna stopped talking and looked at the pain on Buffy’s face. She jumped to the wrong conclusion. "Did you face him?"

Buffy snorted. "In a manner of speaking." She closed her eyes for a moment, fighting for calm. "Do you know why he vanished from the chronicles a hundred years ago?"

Anna thought for a moment. "No, I don’t. He came to America, right? But there is no more mention of him."

"That’s right. You see, he had a gypsy curse." Anna looked confused. "He killed a gypsy girl, and for revenge, the gypsies cursed him by restoring his soul."

Anna looked stunned. Buffy let her think through the conclusions. "Oh my. To live with what he had been..."

"Yeah...."

Anna continued to think. "You knew him." It was not a question. "If the curse is not recorded in the Diaries, then you could only have found it out from him."

Buffy sighed, when she spoke again her words were rushed, as if she wanted to get them out as fast as possible. "Yes. I knew him. When I first met him I thought he was human. He helped me. He knew what I was. And even when I found out what he was, he still helped me." She couldn’t seem to tell her friend what she needed to say.

Anna, however, could see the truth in her face. She said softly, "And you loved him." There was no judgement in her voice.

Buffy closed her eyes. "Yes. I loved him." When she opened her eyes again to look at Anna, her friend could see the bottomless pain in those eyes. Buffy continued speaking in a whisper. "We didn’t know. The curse. It would be broken if Angel experienced even a moment of true happiness." Tears began to fall down Buffy’s face. "We didn’t know. Not until too late."

Anna looked at her in compassion. She could see the truth. After all, if the two had not known that the curse would be broken, there was only one way they could find out. She wanted to reach out to the Slayer in comfort, but she knew that Buffy would not accept it. For the first time she knew why. There would be only one comfort for her. Instead she muttered the key words to a search spell, now that she had some idea what she was looking for; she might be able to see more.

Buffy continued the tragic story.

Anna kept half her mind listening, but with the other half, she was scanning Buffy’s aura. The loss, which the Slayer usually kept hidden under icy shields, was free at last. It swirled through her mind, making any contact painful. But looking closer she could see what had been hidden from her before. A trace of a soul link.

Buffy and Angel had been so close that their souls were one. Or perhaps they became so close because their souls were one, not the other way around. Anna had heard stories of such things, but since she had not concentrated on healing or emotive spells, she did not have the background to judge this occurrence. She did know that it was rare.

Anna released the spell, and returned her full attention to the Slayer. Who was just finishing up her story. "I had sworn to stop Angel at any cost. And I had no choice. Even if I let the world go to Hell, it wouldn’t save him. So I put the sword through him and into the vortex. Acathla was stopped, but Angel…" The tears were falling down the Slayer’s cheeks in earnest now. "I would have sacrificed myself instead, but I couldn’t." She broke off, unable to continue.

Anna carefully sat down beside Buffy, and held her. The Slayer just sobbed. Anna carefully whispered. "Sometimes there are no right choices."

Sunset. Rhianna looked at the Slayer as she prepared for an evening of hunting. She understood Buffy much better than she had before. She understood the pain that was the driving force in the girl’s life. But she failed to understand why the girl was so intent on slaying vampires.

She had turned her back on her life. She had left her friends and her family. Why had she not also left behind this way of life? Slaying vampires had to remind her of her lost love, so why did she do it? Anna decided the only way to find out was to ask.

"Buffy?"

The Slayer looked up from her preparations. She seemed a little better than she had before. Her crying storm had left her emotionally drained. And she no longer seemed frozen. But she still was extremely pale. And she seemed very fragile.

"Hmm?"

"Why do you hunt vampires?"

Buffy looked at her sharply and almost gave her a quick response. Then she stopped and took a deep breath, before she gave her the truth. "Angel swore that he would stop the vampires any way that he could." She closed her eyes against the pain, but her voice was calm. "I think that it was the only meaning in his life, except for his feelings for me. I will keep his vow. It’s the only thing I have left."

August 15, 1998

The last rays of sunlight fell on the inside of the room, where the Slayer and her self-proclaimed Watcher were preparing for the evening’s hunt. The Slayer looked better, calmer. Her full day of sleep was the first real sleep she had had all summer.

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?" came the distracted reply. Buffy was busy checking the sharpness of the several stakes as she secreted them about her person.

Anna took the plunge. "You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, but…" she took a deep breath and continued, "Was it worth it? Is love really worth the pain? I mean, if you had known the future, would you still have loved him?"

Buffy closed her eyes against the pain that question brought. She sat silent for a moment, and when she opened her eyes her face was composed.

"I would have loved him. No matter what. I don’t think there was ever a choice for me." She took a deep breath, before continuing. "The other choices, though. I made some very bad ones. If I had the power, I would change those choices." Tears began to fall down her cheeks, "I loved him, but that love destroyed him. And in the end I didn’t love him enough to save him."

"But you said that you would have loved him, no matter what. So how could you have changed what happened?"

"I could have loved him enough to let him go."

"Do you really think he would have gone?"

The Slayer had no answer.

Back to: The Coming of the Light.