Decisions

The First Day

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Reflections

August 22, 1998

Rhianna looked at the Slayer, who was unenthusiastically munching her way through a dinner. Buffy seemed to feel her concern, "What is it? I am eating, see?" She put another bite of pasta into her mouth and chewed determinedly.

Anna smiled at the comment. And then took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "I have been doing some research." Buffy just looked at her. Anna sighed, and continued, "I think I found a way to bring Angel back."

She was completely unprepared for the sudden light in Buffy’s eyes. Her voice was breathless, as she managed to ask, "Really?"

She cautioned the Slayer, "It’s difficult but, I think, possible."

"When?"

"We could perform the necessary ritual on the night of the full moon, in two weeks. There is a lot of preparation that needs to be done first. And a lot of things that you need to know, but we can do it."

Buffy just looked stunned.

"I am afraid I am gonna have to ask you a lot of personal questions. The answers are very relevant to the ritual, so please keep that in mind."

For the first time since they had met, the approach of sunset did not send Buffy scrambling for her Slayage gear. Instead her attention was focused completely on Anna. "Ask whatever, I’ll do whatever it takes to get him back." When Anna didn’t start talking, Buffy eyed her curiously, "Well? When do the questions start?"

Anna glanced out the dinning room window. Sunset stained the scene red. She turned back to the Slayer, "Are you planning to go hunting tonight?"

Buffy also looked out the window, and realizing how late it had gotten she got up. "We can talk while we hunt." She headed for the bedroom, and her Slayage gear. "Did you find any sign of more vampires?"

"I think I have a place to start tonight." Buffy reappeared, armed and dangerous.

The Slayer was patrolling the streets. She had not found any trace of recent vampire activity, but she had to admit that her entire attention was not focused on that problem.

Rhianna’s questions had begun.

"What were you thinking when you left Sunnydale?"

Buffy thought the question over carefully. She did not like to remember those days. In fact she did not like to remember at all, but now she had hope. She could face anything with hope. "I wasn’t thinking, exactly. Everything hurt so much. It was like I had this idea that if I got far enough away, the pain would go away." A bitter smile touched her mouth; "It didn’t work though."

"Fair enough. What made losing him that much worse then the first time?" Buffy started to answer quickly, but stopped at Anna’s upraised hand. "No don’t give me the quick answer, I know that one. Think it over, what made it so much worse? After all, you did not have to look at his face and know that you had to kill him."

After a minute of silent thinking, Buffy answered the question. "I guess a part of me thought that as long as he was alive there was hope. But that wasn’t the biggest part. No, I guess the first time I never had the feeling that he was gone." She fought to express her feelings. "When I was with him, I mean before, well it was like he was the brightest thing in the world. As long as I was with him I could hear a song, a song that no one else in the world could hear. And after what happened, I could still hear that song. It was faint and broken, but it gave me just the tinniest bit of hope. But after, well, after what I did to him, there was nothing. It was just silence and pain."

Suddenly Buffy’s head snapped up, and she looked around her. Vampire, and close. She started to run in that direction, dimly aware that Anna was following her, guarding her back.

After the easy staking, the two resumed their patrol.

"So, you slept with him?" Buffy nodded in agreement, never taking her eyes off the streets that she was patrolling. "Did he bite you?" Buffy stopped and turned to look at her friend in shock. Anna smiled, "I take that for a no." The smile faded, and she commented, "That will make it more difficult." Buffy looked at her in disbelief.

Anna, seeing the look, decided she owed the girl an explanation. "The problem is that we need some way to get a hold of him, magically speaking. You remember when I shielded you from sympathetic magic?" Buffy indicated her agreement. "Well, if your blood was in his system, then I could just use your blood to find him, even in Hell."

She sighed, "But that won’t work." She thought for another moment. "Did he give you something, a token of love maybe?"

Buffy’s eyes welled, but she her left hand was steady as she displayed the ring to Anna. Anna looked at it carefully, and then asked, "Can I look at that?" Buffy looked at her doubtfully, and then carefully took off the ring and handed it over. Then she turned and continued her patrol.

Anna looked at the ring carefully, then touched it with a faint identification spell. It might work. Buffy suddenly stopped her progress and turned back to Anna. "You said you wanted to use sympathetic magic to find Angel, right?" Anna looked up from her examination in surprise, but she nodded in response to the question. "Well when he gave me that ring, he showed me one just like it. The one he wore."

"Good. That’s perfect actually. I should be able to use the rings to find him." She continued, lost in thought, until Buffy indicated that she had found the presence of another vampire. The two switched back into hunting mode.

Buffy stood alone in a forest. She looked around at the trees. Oak, she decided. A whole forest of oak trees. She wondered where she was. She looked up into the sky and decided it was dawn. She started to wonder down a path.

The path ended at the base of a small hill. On the top of the hill was the largest oak tree she had ever seen. Chained to the tree was the one person she would never mistake.

Angel was bound by heavy chains, and he seemed to be unconscious. Buffy looked at the brightening sky in horror, as she realized what the dawn would do to the vampire. Buffy ran forward to break the chains.

The chains burned her hands, but she didn’t let that distract her. She threw all of her strength into breaking those chains, but they didn’t even bend. She glanced up at the sky in despair, and saw the sky lighten as the sun finally rose.

She watched in horror as sunlight marched across the treetops to her love. She tugged all the harder at the chains, as the first ray of sunlight struck the form of her only love.

And then Buffy stopped moving in shock, because the sunlight didn’t hurt him. She was still staring in amazement when that sunbeam widened and touched her. It felt like an arc of fire. It hurt. Her bones ached as she stared at the sunlight in horror.

Why? The Slayer thought in agony. Why does the sun hurt me?

Giles watched as the first school buses pulled up and delivered their loads of school children. He wondered how long he would wait before he gave up, and left the Hellmouth. A Watcher’s duty was with his Slayer, and Buffy was not in Sunnydale. But he also had no idea where she was. And thus he could not go to her side.

As gabbling teenagers filled the hallways of Sunnydale High he remembered a different time. A time when he watched the first students returning from school, anxiously waiting for his sacred charge to appear. A time when he knew that love existed. A simpler time.

The Watcher sighed in resignation and turned to walk slowly back to the library. He knew that the Slayer was not going to walk into high school on the first day of her senior year, but he had been unable to prevent himself from going out to watch.

Giles walked into the library, and was greeted by the sight of three students sitting at the big library table. He really didn’t feel like socializing.

"Hey Giles." And he really didn’t feel like dealing with Xander’s wit. "Have you ever noticed that school starts earlier every year?"

Willow turned on him. "It does not." Then she thought about that. "Oh well, I guess it does. This year."

Xander just smiled. "Who though starting school a week before Labor Day was a good idea?"

Cordelia grinned. "Our principal." The other students nodded in acknowledgement of the truth.

Giles really didn’t want to deal with this today. He heard the bell ring, and felt relief. "You’d better get to your classes." The Slayerettes looked at him in surprise, but he only shooed them out the door.

Rhianna watched as Buffy finished up her dinner. The two would be out patrolling in another hour, but at the moment Buffy’s entire attention was fixed on the plan that Anna had just outlined. The details were still fuzzy, but the high points were obvious.

"Okay, let me see if I have this right." Anna nodded her head for Buffy to continue. "We go to Sunnydale. You use magic to open the Hellmouth. You teleport Angel out of Hell. And then you close the Hellmouth?"

"That sums it up."

Buffy seemed a bit stunned by this plan. "That’s crazy."

"Why?"

"Um. Well. It’ll never work."

Anna just shook her head; "It’s the only plan I have been able to come up with. And I have been working on it for awhile."

"Is it safe?"

"What?"

"I mean opening the Hellmouth." Buffy raised one hand to her neck. "I mean I died once to keep the Hellmouth closed, and I sacrificed Angel to close another portal to Hell. Pulling Angel out is not gonna do a lot of good if the world ends up in Hell as a side effect."

Anna was enormously cheered by this logic. It was a sign that Buffy was still capable of rational Slayer thinking. Which boded well for her future. "Nothing is perfectly safe. But I have a way to keep the demons from getting out."

Buffy made a tell-me-more gesture. Anna obligingly continued, "First of all we will not open the Hellmouth completely, essentially the plan is just to crack it open a little. Secondly, the whole proceedings are gonna be enclosed in a power circle. Nothing of demon or mortal life will be able to pass the barrier. Additionally, no magic from within the circle will be able to pass outside of it. Thus until the Hellmouth is closed anything that comes out will be trapped."

"It can’t be that simple."

"It’s not. But it will work. Trust me."

Buffy looked mildly suspicious, but decided not to comment.

Anna decided to change the subject. "The hardest part will be getting Angel out of Hell, not closing the Hellmouth." She thought for a moment. "Most likely we will have to bargain with a demon, in order to get enough access to the other realm to accomplish the mission."

Buffy looked surprised. "Demons bargain?"

"Sure. You just need to offer them the right things."

"Like what?"

"Don’t worry, it depends on the demon, but I know a lot of demonology. I will do the bargaining."

Buffy decided that she had no idea what to offer a demon for the return of another demon, so she agreed to let her friend do the bargaining. "Okay."

Willow stood alone in the library. Something had been bothering her all summer, but for some reason she never remembered it around Giles. She and Giles were alone. Very few students actually looked at books on the first day of school. They tended to wait until the day before the research paper was due before doing the research.

"Hey Giles?"

"Hmm?"

"There something about Acathla that’s been bothering me."

Giles sat down the book he was looking through. "What’s that?"

"Why Angel?" Giles looked surprised. "I mean, why was Angel’s blood necessary to pull to sword out."

Giles thought about the question for a moment. "Well, the sword that pierced the demon’s heart was wielded by a virtuous knight." Willow nodded her head in agreement. She had heard that during the original preparations. "Well, only a worthy vampire could pull the sword out, and wake up the demon."

"Okay. But why was Angel worthy?"

"There are a few texts which speak of Angelus as having pure blood." Giles frowned in thought. "I am not quite sure what that means. But the references usually accompany some description of how vicious a creature he was. Maybe it means that he was close to being a true demon." Giles thought about that for a moment before continuing. "Anyway, there is also one reference that implies that Angelus had some power over demons. I have never heard of another vampire with power over true demons."

Willow frowned and tried to absorb this information. "You mean that his blood was a symbol of such evil that he could wield the sword that only a virtuous knight could handle?"

"Something like that."

Anna trailed behind Buffy as she patrolled. Anna kept a sharp eye out for vampire activity; even thought she knew that Buffy’s Slayer senses would identify threats much faster than her mortal ones would. The two had not found any vampires in the previous few nights, but that did not mean that there were none around.

After half an hour of verifying that there were no vampires in the immediate vicinity, Buffy settled into a more passive patrolling pattern. Anna decided that she would start on the night’s topic. "Tell me about Angel."

Buffy looked surprised at the evening’s order of business. But over the last few nights she had gotten used to the strange conversations. She trusted that Anna needed the information. "What do you wanna know?"

"Everything."

Buffy snorted. "Well that’s not gonna be easy."

Anna smiled, "Well, we have all night. Just start at the beginning. I need to get a feel for his personality." The Slayer never looked back at her friend; thus she never noticed that Anna’s eyes were faintly glowing.

Buffy sighed, and gave in to the inevitable. "When I first met him, he would just show up to tell me things. I mean things about demons and vampires. He would show up, and then disappear for awhile, sometimes even months." She almost smiled at the memories. How he had annoyed her. Showing up and vanishing. Of course she understood the reasons now. "I think he was afraid." Buffy pondered that for another moment or two. "Afraid to let me know how he felt, or afraid to love me." That was a painful thought, and it led to painful memories. But the pain was held at a distance, she wondered at that briefly, but then Buffy just looked at her memories.

Anna kept her concentration on the Slayer. She knew that she was taking a risk. In order to keep the calming spell working properly she needed to concentrate. Emotive spells were really not her best. And the spell kept Buffy from reacting properly in a fight situation. She would just have to hope that no vampires would come along. But it was better then having the Slayer curl up and weep on the pavement.

"Anyway, while I knew him he was tormented by the things he had done when he was a true vampire." Buffy snorted. "Of course, that was the point of the curse. He truly hated what he had been."

The two walked on into the night, Buffy continued to describe Angel. Anna’s spell allowed her to remember the good times without getting lost in the bad. Buffy dimly realized that she had not felt anything but pain at her memories all summer.

Buffy watched Rhianna as she typed on her computer. For the first time, the Slayer realized that she had no idea what Anna did on her computer. She wondered at the oversight, but then she realized that she had not been paying much attention to the world in general this summer.

"Anna?" Anna looked up from the screen, a question in her eyes. "What are you doing?"

"I am doing research on demons. The more knowledge I have the better prepared I will be when it comes time to deal with them."

"You are doing research on a computer?" Buffy was surprised. Everything that Giles had ever told her implied that the information on her calling was located in the musty books he constantly poured through. Of course, Giles did have his computer fear.

"Yes. Why?"

"Giles just always researched in books." Buffy answered carelessly.

"Giles?" Anna was surprised. It was the first name that Buffy had every given about her past, except for Angel, of course.

Buffy realized her mistake, but it was too late to fix it. She could only move on. "Yes, Rupert Giles. My Watcher."

Anna thought for a moment, and then remembered the Watcher’s name. "You are very lucky. My Watcher mentioned him a few times, and always with great respect."

Buffy did not know how to respond. It had never occurred to her that Giles might be known to Anna.

Anna noted the Slayer’s awkwardness. A change in subject was in order. "Do you know what was between you and Angel?"

Buffy was completely surprised by the question. An abrupt change of subject she was not opposed to, but this subject was also painful. She also did not quite understand the question. "Um, love?"

Anna sighed. The confusion in Buffy’s response was obvious. Oh well, back to lecture mode. "Yes. Love. But a very special kind of love. You are, what is referred to as, soulmates. Your soul and his were destined for each other. That is why it was so hard to give him up. It is why Angel chose to help you, even though your world was so painful for him. And it is why the pain of losing him is so hard for you to bear. He made your life easier just by existing."

Buffy was stunned. The words were painful to hear, but they also made things easier. She knew how much she had loved him, but the depth had always surprised her.

"Additionally, you must know that your souls are still connected."

"Connected?" Buffy echoed weakly, rational thought seemed to be eluding her.

"Yes. When you lost Angel the first time, you didn’t really lose him. His soul was still free to help you. But now…"

Buffy nodded her head. She understood. Now his soul was in Hell, and if that soul was still connected to her, then she was experiencing part of his torment. Which was no more then she deserved, she thought bleakly.

Buffy looked around the empty apartment. She had never been attached to it, but now she wondered about the life she could have had here. She had made a difference in Los Angeles. People that would have died because of vampires would live. But now she was leaving. The city would be defenseless again, and that bothered her. In all her time on the Hellmouth, she had never considered all the people in the rest of the world that died because she was not there. It was not a pleasant thought.

Anna looked at her friend sharply. She could tell that the Slayer was upset, but not what she was upset about. "What is it, Buffy?"

"Hmm? Nothing."

"You sure?"

"Oh, it’s just that I never thought about the fact that there are vampires everywhere in the world, not just wherever I happen to be."

Anna was annoyed, although she kept it to herself. It was amazing how this girl could find reasons to be depressed. She thought for another moment and then realized that it made sense, the girl tortured herself. It was a side effect of having a direct link into Hell. She only hoped that the experience would not warp Buffy’s true personality. She moved to comfort the girl. "Buffy, even the Slayer can’t be in more than one place at one time. You did good while you were here. But you are needed most on the Hellmouth. The final days are approaching, and it is critical that a Slayer is there."

Buffy smiled a crooked smile that contained no humor. "I know."

Buffy looked around. Rhianna stood in the living room and said, "Welcome home."

Buffy, answered weakly from the door. "Home?"

"Yes, home. Two bedroom, two baths, living room, dining room, and kitchen, in other words, a home. I bought it. It’s in a trust fund, when you come of age, it will be yours."

Buffy looked at her in surprise. "Mine?"

"Yes."

Anna took in her lost expression, and decided it was time to move on. "C’mon, I bought a bunch of blackout window shades, help me mount them."

Buffy moved weakly to help.

The living room was bare of furniture. Anna pulled out a bottle of something that glittered from one of her bags. She had already placed three large crystals on the floor. As far as Buffy could tell they were in a perfect equilateral triangle. She looked on curiously. "What are we doing?"

Anna looked at her. "We need a power circle."

"Why?"

"Well, now that I am in Sunnydale I can feel the power of the Hellmouth. It’s quite amazing. But in order to cast spells I will need to focus that power. Thus, the circle."

Buffy looked around the room. "Oh. Is that why it has a wood floor?"

Anna looked up in surprise. Buffy was amazingly quick at times. "Yes it is. It was pretty hard to get. Why don’t you go fix some food while I cast the circle." Buffy turned and left the room.

Anna began to spread the crystals out.

The two sat across from each other at the table. Neither one seemed very interested in the pizza. But Anna knew that if she didn’t eat, neither would Buffy, and that was not to be allowed.

Buffy looked out the windows and said, "It’s gonna be dark soon."

"I know."

"I should patrol."

Anna looked up in surprise. "I thought you wanted to keep your presence here unknown."

"I do."

"So you are going out hunting?"

"I’ll keep to the shadows. Don’t worry, no one will see me."

"But I need to work on things here."

"You worry too much. I’ll be fine. I can handle a few vampires."

"Buffy…"

Buffy sighed, and looked at her friend. "Anna you’ve been very good to me. And I know I haven’t been exactly a good person to be around. But I’m a lot better now, really. I can handle a little hunting."

Anna looked resigned, but she knew she had no choice. "Okay."

Three Slayerettes prepared for patrol. Oz had the late shift with Giles, since he did not have school in the morning. Of course Giles did, but then again Giles never seemed to need much sleep.

"So, Giles thinks there might be some action tonight?" Xander asked Willow.

Before Willow could respond to the comment Cordelia spoke up, "Great! Just great. I just had my nails redone. I was hoping they might last for at least one school day."

In a voice dripping with sympathy, Xander told her, "Well we can just ask the nice vampire to leave your nails alone."

Willow attempted to divert the growing Cordelia-storm by saying, "Uh yes. Giles thinks that a murder victim might be rising tonight.

"Great! Another fun filled evening in the morgue." With that Cordelia stomped off towards her car.

With a shrug the other two followed.

Another late night in the morgue. Three figures crept through the halls, careful to keep quiet. They entered the designated room and looked quickly around. No vampire. They sighed in relief, and then began to check the bodies.

Much ick, but no vampires found.

As the three turned to leave the room Xander smiled, "Life is good. Giles was wrong."

Willow glared.

"Well. I just like it when he’s wrong about demons. Makes him seem a little more human."

Willow’s attention was suddenly caught by something under her feet. She bent to take a closer look. Dust, lots of dust, strange. She took a look around the rest of the floor, and realized that it was dusty in only this one spot. "Oh my."

"What is it, Will?"

Willow just pointed at the floor.

It was noon. The two stood in the living room, in the center of the circle of crystals. Buffy looked confused.

"Alright. Let me see if I understand. You want to enchant the ring so that it can find Angel."

"Yes."

"And then you are gonna use you magic to pull both it and him out of Hell."

"Yes."

"Why does this seem like a very fragile plan?"

"Because it is. Buffy, the only alternative is for one of us to go into Hell. Even if we could survive the experience there is no way for a mortal to find one person in Hell in the time we can bargain for."

Buffy carefully looked at the silver ring on her finger and then sighed. As she removed the ring, she looked up at Anna and said; "Okay, let’s do it." She gave the ring to her friend.

Anna held it in both hands, which immediately began to glow. She slowly spread her hands apart, leaving the ring suspended in a ball of glowing light. Despite the concentration on her features, she looked back up at Buffy with a smile and said, "Besides, you might like one of the side effects."

"What’s that?"

"Well, the ring is gonna be a physical representation of the soul link between you and Angel. Thus you will always be able to determine things about him with the ring." Before Buffy could respond to this comment, Anna’s expression turned serious, "You remember how to do this, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, now is the time." Buffy looked frightened for a moment. "Don’t worry about the words. They’re unimportant, just say what’s in you heart."

Buffy took a deep breath and then concentrated on the ring. "By the power of love. By the power of love once found and twice lost. By this ring, given in love. By the memory of love given and returned. I command you, bring my love back to me."

The light surrounding the ring flared brightly, and then vanished. The ring fell to the ground at Anna’s feet. She carefully reached down and picked it up, then handed it back to the speechless Slayer.

Buffy carefully held the ring for a moment before slipping it back on her finger. A look of pain crossed her features as she looked back at the ring. "It burns." She whispered.

Anna looked at her in sympathy. "Sorry about that, I was hoping it wouldn’t. It’s a sign that the ring is active. I could block the physical expression of that link, but I am afraid that would weaken the ring’s effectiveness later."

Buffy looked back at Anna. With a faint, crooked smile, she made her decision. "No, leave it alone. It takes my mind off other things, anyway."

"The ring draws its strength from you. When we use it, it will drain your strength in order to complete its mission."

"Whatever."

Wednesday afternoon, the last school bell rang. Students were joyfully leaving school, heading for their evenings of fun. All except for the Slayerettes, who were gathered in the library, explaining to the Watcher what had happened the night before.

Willow was doing most of the talking. "So we didn’t find a vampire, but we did find a pile of dust. It could have been the vampire."

"Hmm?"

"So who would be killing vampires?"

Xander piped in with his usual sarcasm, "A Slayer, of course."

Willow turned to him and glared, "Not funny."

In a hurt voice Xander replied, "Well it could be."

The other Slayerettes looked at him in disbelief.

But Giles only looked thoughtful, as he ran through a mental list of the possibilities, "Perhaps."

Anna sat at the table. A needle was in her right arm. Buffy looked on in concern, "Are you sure about this?"

She sighed and looked up at the Slayer, "Listen. We’ve been over this. If everything goes according to plan you get Angel back. But considering what happened to him when he was last in the mortal realm, not to mention the fact that he has spent the last several months in Hell, he is gonna need to heal. Vampires need blood to heal. You need your strength. I prefer not to rob the Red Cross. So I am volunteering."

Buffy tried to smile. "I guess so. It’s just strange. You are doing so much for Angel and me. I guess I just wonder why, sometimes."

Anna looked at the Slayer seriously, and there was no levity in her voice as she responded, "Buffy, you may not want to hear this, but I will tell you why. You are the Slayer. The hope of the mortal world. Long ago, I was trained as the Slayer. I might not be a Slayer, but I still would do anything to fulfil the vows I made in training. The best way I can do that is to help you. The best help I can give you is to bring Angel back to your side."

Buffy took in her words, and knew they were true. Tears slowly rolled down her cheeks, as she realized that she was the most important thing in Anna’s life. She didn’t know how to thank her for the gifts she was being given, so Buffy just said, "Thanks."

"Your welcome." As Buffy looked into Anna’s eyes, she knew that Anna had understood what she could not say, and that was enough.

Friday morning at Sunnydale high. Xander, Willow, and Cordelia walked slowly down the halls to their first class.

Xander’s face stretched into a big yawn. The girls quickly joined in. "You know, I never really appreciated how much work goes into patrolling." Xander mumbled.

Willow smiled sadly, "Yeah. Buffy made it seem easy."

Cordelia just nursed her bruises in silence.

Buffy and Rhianna stood on the edge of the power circle. The crystal earring that Buffy normally wore was floating in the center of that circle. The three large crystals seemed to be focusing the moonlight into it.

Buffy looked up at the moon. It was almost full. One more night. She wondered briefly how Oz was doing, but the thought was fleeting. In general, she avoided the thought of her friends.

Anna looked up at Buffy. She seemed lost in thoughts. But Anna had a few more concerns to voice. "I have set up spells so that will make Angel’s transition back as easy as possible."

"Hmm?" Buffy was surprised out of her broodings.

"Yes. I can bind his memories so that he will not remember what he has done until he regains consciousness and his soul fully integrates with his body." Buffy looked surprised, and grateful. "Since that was his state when he left this realm, it is easy enough to make it his state when he returns."

"Thanks."

Anna took a deep breath, and continued with her more serious concern. "I have done all the research I could, but, at the moment, I don’t know a way to change Angel’s curse." Buffy just looked at her curiously, and so she continued. "You do know what that means?"

"I know. We can never be together."

"That’s true. But it’s more complicated then that. You see, based on what you told me, Angel is not gonna be very happy when his memories are restored."

Buffy gave her a crooked smile; "I think that is an understatement."

"You are gonna have to be the strong one. You are gonna have to keep him sane and alive until he can accept what he has done. But to do that you need to stay with him."

"I know."

"Can you deal with that?"

Buffy just looked at her. "Do I have choice?"

Anna had no answer.

Rhianna’s belongings were packed into two bags. Her computer was carefully stashed in its bag and ready to roll. Buffy looked at the preparations in shock.

"So you’re not planning on chaperoning us?" Buffy asked in disbelief.

"Buffy, I trust you. You know the stakes, probably better then I do. You are the only one who can make decisions about your future. I am trying to help you make the best choices. But the choices are yours."

"Wow. I wish you had been my Watcher before." Buffy’s face held a faint smile. Perhaps the first true smile she had worn all summer.

Rhianna just shook her head. "I am not your Watcher. I may be doing a temporary job at that. But I was trained to be a Slayer, not a Watcher." She looked like she was going to add something more, but then thought better of the idea.

Buffy looked down; "Well maybe it would have been better."

"If I had been your Watcher?"

"No, better if you had become the Slayer, instead of me. Two years ago. I mean, you were the one trained. Maybe that training would have allowed you to make the right choices."

Rhianna looked at her hard, then sighed. "Buffy, there are times when there are no right choices. We all make mistakes. None of us can choose our destinies." She smiled sadly at the last comment.

It was three o’clock. A full moon shone over the landscape. Anna and Buffy stood dressed in black. The gear was all prepared. Anna was going over the procedure one more time. When she finished, Buffy just said, "Ready." And walked out the door, keeping watch for any traffic.

Anna took one more look back at the circle of power, and hoped it would be strong enough for Buffy, she would need all the help she could to get back here. She looked around the house one more time, saying goodbye. Then she walked into the night to join the Slayer.

Giles sat alone in the library. He was pouring over his current text. He knew that he should be at home. But it felt better to be doing something, anything, to keep his mind busy. At least it kept the nightmares at bay.

He was surprised to hear a faint noise in the hallway outside. He took a quick look at the clock. The time was 3:25. He couldn’t believe it. Who would be around on Sunday morning at this hour? But then he relaxed; it must be a security guard. He returned his attention to the dusty book in front of him; the book that he hoped contained some reference to the Slayer.

Giles felt a presence behind him; he could feel someone looking at him. He turned quickly, and then gasped in shock, "Buffy?"

And Buffy it was. She stood framed by the library doors. She looked awful, her skin was pale, and she wore no trace of makeup. She was dressed all in black, high black leather boots, form fitting black jeans, and a long sleeved black shirt. Despite the chill in the air, she wore no jacket. A black scarf covered her blond hair. The only things she wore that were not black were a silver ring on her left hand, a silver cross around her neck, and a clear crystal earring in her right ear. Looking closely at the necklace he realized it was the cross that Angel had given her almost two years ago.

Despite the fact that the cross was touching her skin, he quickly looked at her face, hoping to find a trace of humanity, remembering the dreams in which she had laughed at him as she killed him. He could see the lines that pain had etched, and he could not face the loneliness in her eyes.

He got to his feet and started to walk towards her, unsure if this was real. He had dreamed her presence so many times. She looked at him without a trace of welcome. The doors behind her opened again, admitting another young woman, probably in her early-twenties. She was also dressed in black, and she carried a large black bag. She quickly surveyed the inside of the library.

Buffy looked a question at her. She nodded in response and said, "This is it. C’mon, we have to clear the floor."

Buffy and the stranger walked past Giles, Buffy grabbed one edge of the table and pulled it to the side of the room. The stranger set down her bag in the center of the room, and then began to move chairs out of the way. With the table safely out of the way, Buffy moved back to the center of the room and asked, "Anna?"

Anna moved to open the bag, and then looked at Giles. She looked back at Buffy; "This has to be done without interference. You have to keep him and anyone else from affecting things. Once the circle is up, you will have to do your part, but until then you can keep the bystanders out of the way."

Buffy turned, and obediently walked to where Giles was standing, still attempting to get over the shock of seeing her. She took a deep breath, and then greeted him. "Hi, Giles. It’s been awhile." This gross understatement was delivered in a tone of voice Giles had never heard from her. She seemed to be fighting for calm. But he could see that a storm lived behind her eyes. He tried to find a way to express what he was feeling.

"Where have you been? We’ve been so worried. No one knew where you were, or what happened to you."

Buffy looked down at her feet for a moment and then back up at him. "I’ve been away, I couldn’t bear to stay here. I...." She broke off, and then struggled to finish what she had started. "I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you like that, but I wasn’t thinking clearly." Pain showed on her face, but she somehow managed to keep her voice steady. "In fact, I wasn’t thinking at all. I didn’t start to come around until recently, and then I came here." Buffy almost smiled. "But I am back now."

Giles looked at her compassionately. Thinking he understood what she had not told him. In a quiet voice, "Then Angel is," Buffy looked away from him, "dead?"

Buffy looked down, and then whispered, "Worse." She raised a hand to her face, and he saw her fighting back tears, "Oh Giles..." In another moment she got herself under control and the hand drop back to her side.

Giles looked at her face and changed the subject. "But now you’re back?"

She half smiled and answered, "Yeah. I’m back."

"You’re not going to leave are you?"

"No. Why?" He caught a trace of the suspicion that normally would have colored that response.

"Because there are people that desperately want to see you." He turned and ran into the library office, towards the phone.

Buffy turned and looked back at her friend’s progress. She had spread crushed crystal into a perfect circle on the floor. The circle was large, almost twelve feet in diameter. Anna was now setting up the five candles. Buffy glanced back at the office. Giles was talking animatedly on the phone. She dimly wondered who it was. It didn’t matter. Giles was distracted, that was the important part. Looking at the wall clock she realized that she only needed to keep him distracted for another half an hour. Then the circle would be up. In another hour this would all be over. She could survive anything, even this waiting, for another hour. After all, what choice did she have?

Cordelia and Willow flanked Xander. All three had crosses and stakes held to the ready. After all, they were in a graveyard, and it was early morning. For once they had no trouble seeing. The full moon was extremely bright. Despite their vigilance there was no sign of anything. The night was perfectly silent.

The silence was disturbed by a shrill sound. All three jumped and whirled, preparing for an attack. But no attack was forthcoming. The sound of a cell phone ringing came again, and all three looked at each other sheepishly. Willow carefully pulled the phone out of a jacket pocket, pushed the send button, and said Hello into the receiver. The other two looked at her expectantly.

Willow listened to Giles’s voice on the phone, her worried expression melted into utter disbelief. "What?"

She listened to the reply for another couple of seconds, waving the others into silence. Eventually she turned off the phone and put it back in her pocket. She looked up at the other two Slayerettes in shock.

"What is it Will?" Xander gently asked her.

"Buffy."

Xander and Cordelia instantly looked surprised and concerned.

"What about her?" Put in Cordelia.

"Giles says she is at the library."

Xander and Cordelia exchanged a look

"Giles says we should get there as soon as possible."

The three looked at each other for another heartbeat, and then as one, turned and ran for the entrance to the graveyard.

Giles put down the phone. He hurried out of the office, hoping that Buffy had not been a figment of his imagination. But Buffy was still waiting for him. He could not believe that she was there, but he dared not disbelieve either. He did not know what to say, so he turned and looked at the stranger, Anna. She was standing in the middle of a circle and she was lighting a fifth candle. He looked at the scene harder; it appeared she was performing some kind of ritual. But he did not recognize any part of it.

He turned back to Buffy, and gently asked her, "What’s going on Buffy?"

She looked at Anna for a moment, before turning back to him. Her voice was steady as she answered the question; "It’s a ritual. It will make me a better Slayer."

Giles’s eyes narrowed in suspicion, "How?"

Buffy looked at him, hurt. "Don’t you trust me?" She turned and walked a few steps away. Her hand raised to hide a few tears that leaked from her eyes.

Giles slowly walked up behind her and laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Of course I do." But she did not respond.

Five minutes later, the library doors opened, admitting the breathless forms of three Slayerettes. They looked around at the strange scene, but their attention focused on the Slayer. Unbelievable, after everything that had happened this summer, Buffy stood in the library. She was staring at her friends in surprise. She had forgotten that she would have to deal with them as well.

The three of them said as one, "Buffy?"

"Hi guys. It’s good to see you." The pain on her face seemed to make this statement a lie.

Willow started to walk forward, intending to give her best friend a welcome back hug, but the look on her face stopped her. Or perhaps the absence of a look, for there was no welcome on Buffy’s face. "Buffy, what’s wrong?"

Buffy looked at them and then turned away, they could hear her whisper, "Everything."

The three looked at each other and then back at Buffy, their expressions showed their worry.

Awkward silence descended on the room.

Willow looked around the room, and then frowned. She looked at Giles and asked, "Where’s Buffy’s mom?" Giles looked surprised. "I mean she should be here. I don’t know what’s going on, but we don’t have to keep secrets anymore, do we?" Giles shook his head, and then looked back at the Slayer.

After a quick glance into the center of the room, he answered her question. "Alright. Call her mom. I don’t want to leave her right now."

Willow looked at her best friend in concern, and then headed for the phone. She quickly dialed the familiar number and waited. When she heard the voice on the other end, she started her speech. "Hello, Mrs. Summers? Yes, this is Willow. Yes, I know what time it is. Just listen, Buffy’s here. Yes, really. She’s in the library. You should get here as soon as you can."

Joyce stumbled into the library. She completely ignored everything and everyone except for her daughter. She was frightened, she was upset, and she tried to fight for calm, but failed. And there was her daughter. Still alive. No word from her all summer and then she shows up. Seemingly unharmed.

Buffy’s back was turned to her mother, and although she had heard someone enter the library, she was not terribly curious to find out whom. That was, until the newcomer spoke up.

"Buffy. Where have you been?"

Buffy turned slowly to face her mother. "Mom?" Her voice was broken. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take. She felt incredibly fragile, as if the lightest breeze would blow her away. Although she knew, now, why that was, it did not make it any easier to face the people that were desperately concerned for her. The people who would not understand what she was doing.

Joyce ran forward and held her daughter in a hug. She was so relieved to feel her daughter, alive and well, that she failed to notice that Buffy did not return the hug.

Buffy looked over her mother’s shoulder. She could see that the ritual was progressing. Everything was in place. Anna stood in the center of the circle chanting softly.

Buffy freed herself from her mother’s embrace. She slowly walked to the edge of the crystal circle, and then turned and faced the others. Her mother seemed to be in shock, her friends seemed confused by events, but her Watcher was watching Anna intently. Buffy hoped that he would not figure out what was happening until it was too late, she did not want to hurt him.

The circle of crystal flared. For a moment the air above it seemed to waver. Buffy looked exultant and turned to watch as Anna continued to chant. The others had no idea what was going on.

Xander was the first to ask the question that needed to be answered, "Buffy what are you doing?"

Buffy turned back to them. In a completely serious, emotionless voice she answered the question, at last, "We’re opening the Hellmouth." They stared at her in disbelief. She was the Slayer, and she was opening the Hellmouth? After she had died to keep it closed?

Buffy laughed at them. The expression on her face was crazed. "There is nothing you can do. You cannot pass the barrier." She turned again to watch as Anna continued the ritual. The Slayerettes looked at Buffy in shock, not knowing what to say or do.

Her mother took a step closer to her, although she was not sure what she was going to do. Buffy turned to face her. And her eyes were glowing. The others backed away from her in fear, and Buffy returned her attention to the ritual.

Xander finally looked at Giles, "She’s not a vampire is she?" He asked awkwardly, not sure what he would do if the answer was yes. Not sure what he would do if the answer was no.

Giles looked at him and then back at Buffy’s back. "No she’s not. I don’t know what she is, now."

Buffy whirled back to face them. Mounting anger spread across her face, and colored her voice, "I’m the Slayer. Don’t you remember?" She lashed the words out at her Watcher. "I have to fight evil. I have to save the world." She looked down for a moment, before she once again faced him. "Do you have any idea what I’ve sacrificed for this world?" An expression of pain crossed her features. In a broken voice she continued, "I don’t care anymore, I have one chance to make things right. To fix the things that I have done." She glared around the group. "And no one, not even one of you, is gonna stop me."

Willow looked at her in compassion, "Buffy, what your doing, it’s…"

She never got the chance to finish the statement, because the Slayer interrupted, "Some things are worth any price. And this is one of them."

The Slayerettes were stunned into silence. Buffy turned back just in time to see lines of power flare between the candles, enclosing Anna in a pentagram. Everyone watched as she slowly raised her arms above her head, and screamed, "Now!"

Light flared in the air around Anna. When it faded a wavering circle of sickly yellow light hung in the air before her.

Buffy whispered, "The gate."

Giles’s looked at the Slayer in surprise. "Of course. A controlled entry."

A shadowy figure appeared between the gate and Anna. She faced it without fear, despite the sight of demonic features and murderous claws and teeth. It laughed, a sound filled with triumph and bereft of any trace of humanity. Anna spat something out in a language that seemed full of consonants and sibilants. A language that had not been spoken in the mortal realm for eons.

The demon seemed to waver for a moment, before it said something in the same language.

The Slayerettes looked at the scene in confusion. Buffy watched without comprehension, but she knew what was supposed to happen. Joyce looked at Giles, begging him to tell her what was happening. "What’s going on?"

Giles was watching Anna; he alone understood what was being said, although he had never heard the language spoken, so he was unsure if he had the translation correct. He ignored the questions directed at him. He had to concentrate in order to make out the bargaining.

The demon and the girl continued their bargaining. Buffy’s hope grew, even as her Watcher’s concern grew.

Finally the demon laughed and disappeared. Anna sighed as the power lines vanished, leaving her alone with the gate in the circle. She turned to look at Buffy, and told the Slayer, "Now."

Buffy carefully removed the ring from her left hand. She frowned at it in concentration for a few moments, it began to glow and she slowly released it. It hovered before her for a moment, before it streaked into the gate like a falling star. As it vanished into the demon realm Buffy cried out and sank to her knees, she could feel her strength being pulled out of her.

The Slayerettes seemed unsure of what to do, whether it was wise to help her or not. But her mother didn’t care. She went to her daughter’s side and tried to hold her. Buffy didn’t react to her presence however; her attention was focused elsewhere. Anna and Giles’s attention was entirely focused on the gate.

Minutes trickled past. Buffy felt the pain, but she welcomed it, it was a sign that things were working as planned. Finally she felt a change. She no longer felt the ring searching. She carefully stood up, and looked at her friend. "It found the other." Anna turned to look at her, ascertaining whether or not she spoke the truth. "I can feel it, the two are together."

Anna looked vaguely surprised, she had not expected Buffy to feel that, but she started her next set of spells. Teleportation from a distance was not one of her favorite spells, especially across realms. And in this case there were more spells to be cast. She could leave no trail for the demons to follow, and this would be her only chance to cast the spells on Angel’s memories.

Joyce was still holding her daughter’s arm. Buffy tore her concentration from the proceedings long enough to shake herself loose from the hold and climb to her feet. Her expression was made of equal parts hope and fear.

Giles suddenly understood what was happening. "Buffy, why?"

But Buffy gave him no response; she did not even acknowledge his question.

After another few minutes, the gate pulsed with sudden light. When it died down, an unconscious figure lay beside the gate. A brightly glowing ring hovered about five feet above his form. Anna sagged in exhaustion, her eyes closed as she breathed heavily, regaining her strength.

The Slayerettes gasped in shock as they recognized the figure. Buffy’s attention was fixed entirely on her love. Her Slayer senses could not penetrate the barrier, but she knew, without a doubt, that it was Angel, and that he was alive. She whispered, "Angel."

Joyce watched her daughter’s face intently. She could see the love and longing in that face. She glanced at the Angel. She remembered him, and the memories were not pleasant. Joyce did not know what was happening, but she knew that she was not going to get any answers from Buffy, so she turned and walked back to Giles and demanded, "What’s going on?"

He turned his attention from the scene, and quietly answered her, "She" pointing at Anna, "opened the Hellmouth. That is a gate to Hell." He pointed at the wavering circle. "Clearly, she has just pulled Angel out of Hell. I am not quite sure how. And I definitely don’t understand why. But that’s what’s going on." The Slayerettes looked at him in shock.

Xander seemed to be the only one who was ready to try and answer the question. "He must have gotten sucked into Hell when she stopped Acathla."

Willow finished the thought, "No wonder she left. She’s spent the entire summer trying to get him back."

Joyce seemed about to ask more questions, when movement within the circle diverted everyone’s attention. Anna carefully walked over to Angel’s unconscious form.

By the light of the glowing ring Anna studied the unconscious vampire. She held her hand to his forehead and closed her eyes, as if listening to something. When she opened her eyes thirty seconds later she sighed in relief and then lowered her hand to his throat, as if feeling for a pulse. A minute later she stood and reached out to the ring still floating above Angel’s body. As she held the ring, its light slowly faded until all that was left was a slow pulsing of dim light, like a heartbeat. She careful put the ring inside her jacket, leaving the library lit only by moonlight.

Done with her examination, Rhianna slowly turned, and walked back to the edge of the circle. She saw that her audience had grown, as the others joined Buffy and Giles. But her attention was focused on those two.

"How is he?" Pleaded Buffy. "It worked didn’t it?"

Anna sighed, but her voice was compassionate. "You should know better than I. He is alive, for the moment. Unfortunately, he is not doing very well."

"What? You mean…" Buffy’s voice trailed off.

"Yes. He is dying." At Buffy’s pained expression, she added. "But you can still save him. If you want to." Despite Buffy’s confused look, the girl turned to Giles. "Rupert Giles, I assume. I wish I could have met you under different circumstances. My teacher, Mr. Vryce, spoke very highly of you."

"Thank you." The fact that he had concerns was apparent from his face, but he was, apparently, keeping those concerns to himself.

"I have tried to watch over your Slayer. I am afraid that she is not doing well."

Giles glanced at Buffy. She was ignoring the conversation; all of her attention was focused on Angel. He turned back to regard Anna from across the barrier. "I understand, but this?" He waved a hand in the direction of the gate.

Anna sighed and reached into her jacket and pulled out a computer disk. She waved it at him to get his attention, and as she tossed it through the circle, "A gift. I hope you will understand everything."

As she turned back to the Slayer, she reached inside her jacket again. This time she held the still glowing ring in her hand. She tossed the ring to the Slayer, who despite the surprise caught it and put it on. "Buffy. I want you to know that I am very glad to have known you. You have given me the chance to help the war, a chance I would never have had without you. I think you are something special, not just the Slayer. Good luck." She turned to walk back towards the center of the circle.

"Wait. What’s happening?" Buffy called after her.

But Rhianna ignored her, and as she reached the gate at the center, she called out, "You have kept your side of the bargain, I am now ready to keep mine."

The gate flared to life one more time and the demon stood before the mortal. "You are a fool, child. You have given us freedom."

Anna only smiled. The demon raised its hand, and the long claws swung forward, embedding themselves in the girl’s heart.

Buffy’s scream of denial filled the room, and she threw herself futilely against the barrier of the power circle. Rhianna slid off the demon’s claws and as she fell turned to look at Buffy. Her faint smile was lost as her body began to dissolve into a glowing mist. The glow also seemed to infuse the crystal earring dangling from Buffy’s right ear.

The gate, demon, and circle vanished in the next instant. The glowing form lasted a second longer, but then it too vanished. Leaving only Angel’s unconscious form to mark what had happened. Buffy rushed forward to kneel beside the vampire. Tears streamed down her face, but the hand she held over his face was motionless.

Once again her earring began to glow, and her hand quickly followed it. Buffy herself seemed to be in a trance, seeing something that was visible only to her.

Giles was the first to follow her across the now vanished circle. His quiet question broke the silence. "Buffy, what are you doing?" But Buffy never heard it. All of her senses were focused elsewhere.

As quickly as it had come, the light vanished from her hand, and she stirred with a sigh. The tears had dried on her face, and her expression was filled only with concern. The others began to come forward now, but she still seemed completely unaware of the outside world.

Buffy quickly reached into her right boot, and pulled out a six-inch blade. Raising it into the light, she looked it over for a moment, before bringing it down in a slash along her left wrist. Blood began to run down her arm almost immediately, but if the cut pained her, no sign of it crossed her face.

Xander, realizing what she was about to do, tried to stop her. He screamed, "No" as he ran forward, meaning to pull her away from Angel. He never got the chance. As he approached, Buffy raised her head, her eyes and earring flashed white and Xander was flung back several paces. He stumbled and fell to the floor clutching his head as if it pained him. Cordelia came to her knees beside him, attempting to discover how badly he was hurt.

Buffy looked back down at Angel, and brought her bleeding wrist to his mouth. She watched as her blood began to pool, and then slowly trailed down his chin. "C’mon, drink. Drink it." She pleaded with the vampire. She continued to watch in growing desperation, until finally, Angel convulsively swallowed. "That’s it." She encouraged. "Drink. Live."

The faces of the Slayerettes grew more concerned, and the face of Buffy’s mother grew more confused. Giles was the next to try and approach her. "Buffy what are you doing?" But as he took a step closer, her head shot up, and her eyes were glowing again. He slowly backed away with his hands raised. Buffy once again returned her gaze to the vampire.

"What’s going on?" Joyce asked Giles. "What is she doing?"

"I wish I knew for sure. The other girl, Anna I believe, she said that Angel was dying. If that is true, Buffy is probably trying to revive him with her blood."

"What?"

Giles looked at her in surprise, and then realized that she probably did not know what was going on. "Angel is a vampire."

Joyce clearly struggled with this concept, and a myriad of questions swirled across her face. The one she finally gave voice to was, "But I thought that vampires kill for food?"

"They do. That’s what worries me. But Buffy is a Slayer, she may be able to survive on very little blood."

"Or she may not care." This comment came from Willow, who had slowly approached the scene, to stand by Giles side. She was staring at her best friend in concern. "It may be that his life is worth more to her than her own. After all, you know how she blamed herself for what happened to him." Joyce’s gaze returned to her daughter in horror.

"How do we stop her?" Demanded Cordelia. "I mean if this is gonna kill her, we need to stop it, right?"

"Stop her? We can’t even get close to her." Xander was rubbing his head. "Believe me. Whatever that was that she used, it’s effective."

"What was that, anyway? I mean that’s not something that all Slayers can do, is it?"

Giles answered the question cautiously. "It seemed to be a standard psychic blast. And no, it’s not a traditional Slayer power, and Buffy has never shown psychic abilities before. I wish I knew where she learned them."

Just then Angel stirred. All eyes fastened back on the scene before them. Buffy raised her wrist and pulled the scarf off of her head. She carefully wiped her arm clean of blood and bound the slash. She turned her attention back to Angel, as he seemed to be approaching waking.

Buffy reached out her hand and touched his forehead with a single finger. "Sleep, love." She commanded. For an instant her eyes flashed again, and Angel relaxed once more into true unconsciousness. Buffy sighed, and looked around her.

"Buffy…" started Willow tentatively. But she never got to finish the thought. Because Buffy stood up, then reached down and picked Angel’s body up. She stood facing the others for a moment, and then her earring flared, filling the room with light. The others closed their eyes against the glare, and when the light faded. The Vampire Slayer and the vampire were gone.

In the center of an empty living room, a circle stood empty, waiting. The circle was formed from crushed crystal. Three larger crystals were evenly spaced around the circle, and they sparkled in the light that came in through the windows. The bright white light of the full moon was joined by the gradual brightening of the sky. Dawn was approaching.

The circle stood empty for another moment, when without warning, it was suddenly filled with light. When the glare faded, a Slayer dressed all in black with a glowing crystal earring stood in the center of figure. She also looked exhausted, and she swayed slightly. Her left wrist was tightly wrapped with a black scarf. The moonlight seemed to make her blonde hair glow. In her arms she held the unconscious form of her only love. His pale skin seemed to glow in the moonlight.

She looked around for a moment, as if ascertaining her location, and then headed for one of the doors. The bedroom that she entered had no windows, and she carefully kicked the door shut as she entered. The only light left in the room came from a small night light over the bed and digital clock on a dresser. The clock read 6:01, twenty-five minutes until sunrise.

The Slayer carefully laid the vampire down, and moved to look at his face. She placed her right hand a couple of inches above his face, and concentrated. Her earring and hand began to glow softly. A couple of seconds later the glow stopped, and she lowered the hand back to her side, sighing in relief.

She walked over to the dresser and carefully removed the necklace she was wearing, before returning to the bed. She carefully sat at the head of the bed; her back pressed to the wall. Lifting her left hand she stared for a moment at the silver ring on her fourth finger. Looking carefully at the heart held by two hands, she could see a faint pulsing of light, almost like a heartbeat. The rhythm was much too slow for a mortal’s, but she smiled at it, anyway. She carefully laid her hand on her lover’s forehead, before closing her own eyes in exhaustion.

Buffy sat with her eyes closed and wondered what she was feeling. She was tired; Anna had not lied when she said that the ring would draw on her strength to complete its mission. The thought of Anna gave rise to feelings of grief and pain. Had her friend known that she was going to die? More guilt for her to bear. She remembered the look on her friends’ faces when they realized what she was doing, and felt sadness at the thought that she might have lost them. But what she felt most of all was a strange sense of loss. She struggled to understand it. Then she realized that it was the absence of pain. A pain that she had gotten so used to feeling that she had forgotten it was present.

As her hand gently stroked Angel’s hair, the physical reassurance was nothing compared to what she could feel in her mind. Although her Slayer senses warned her of the near presence of a vampire, they did not dominate her. Across the channel that had brought her only pain for the last three months, she could finally hear the music of his soul. The harmony to her own. She smiled.

At last, the Slayer was whole.

The Slayer dreamed.

She stood alone at the top of a cliff. The sun made the green forest below her glow. A stream tumbled off the edge of the cliff beside her. Looking down she knew she could fly, so she spread her arms and jumped.

The wind whistled through her hair for a moment. And then she was a bird. A big hawk with golden feathers. The forest unfolded beneath her. A peaceful scene.

Then, a single flame burst below her, and she wheeled in surprise. The fire rapidly expanded. She was alone, circling a barren wasteland, charred by the fury of the fire.

She was in the Bronze. Couples around her were dancing. Dancing with her was Angel, but an Angel that she had never seen. His skin was warm to her touch, and its color was as dark as her own. Looking into his eyes she knew she had never been as happy.

Suddenly the couples around her were not human anymore. They turned into shadows. Shadows with glowing eyes. They formed a ring around her and Angel. The two stood back to back as the darkness approached.

She stood in the center of a cavern. A single candle provided the only light. She shivered as a cold wind tugged at her clothes. At her feet a dark pool lay. She looked into the pool and she could distantly hear the desperation in Angel’s voice as he called to her, "Buffy? Where are you?" But she was powerless to answer.

She stood in the center of a circle. Facing her were two mirrors. She looked at her reflection in the first. The reflection wore dark hunting clothes. She held a stake ready. Shadows were closing in on her from all sides, and she looked out in despair. The Slayer turned to the second mirror. This reflection also wore hunting clothes, but she held no stake. Instead her skin was pale, and her face was a demon’s mask. The Slayer looked in horror at her reflection’s fangs, and backed up a step.

She felt a presence behind her, and turned to face it. She looked at Angel. He was looking at the mirrors. "But which reflection is yours?" He asked her. She turned back to the mirrors, and saw that the first had not changed, but the second reflection had been joined by Angel’s. Angel’s reflection also wore a vampire’s face, and he stood about a foot behind her.

The Slayer turned back to look at Angel questioningly, but he was gone.

She was in an empty room. The only light seemed to be focused on her. Looking out into the darkness, she could see Angel kneeling before a figure. No matter how hard she looked at that figure, she could not make out any details. It was a shadow. The shadow had a single hand lying on Angel’s upturned face. Buffy could dimly make out the shape of long claws.

Suddenly, Angel turned to look at her. His face was the contorted mask of a vampire, and he growled at her, and prepared to attack.

The Slayer opened her eyes with a gasp. She whispered "Something’s coming."

Back to: The Coming of the Light.