DISCLAIMER: The characters of Buffy and company belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB, 20^th Century FOX, and probably some more. 

CLAIM: The other characters of Rhianna, Alexia, Solange, Gretchen, Lisa, Grace, and Seraphina belong to me. 

RATING: PG-13 for violence and sexual innuendoes.  Nothing too serious, generally if you can watch the show, you can read this.

What Just Happened?

When?

Is This Love?

Who?

Why?

More Questions than Answers

Buffy kissed her lover goodbye at the doorway; he had just come in from the early morning patrols. Buffy needed some sleep, just like Angel, and keeping the vampire situation covered required full time attention. Luckily there were two of them, but keeping tabs on evil around the clock was frustrating, especially for newly reunited lovers.

The Chosen One asked, "See ya about three?"

"Giles wants a workout?"

"Yeah, he’s still trying to measure how much we’ve changed." As she spoke she shook her head, between her Watcher and her multiple enemies; she had not gotten much free time lately.

Buffy stared at her English teacher as he droned on. English was her last class of the day, but she had to stay after, once again a teacher was complaining about her habit of cutting classes. Normally such speeches did nothing to her, but this one was annoying, it was making her late for training, and Angel.

Since the one-sided conversation did not seem to be wrapping up anytime soon, the Slayer sent a warning to her lover that she would be late. Hopefully Giles would not get too mad at her. Luckily Angel would be there to explain things to him before she got there.

Buffy strolled through the library doors, automatically listening for heartbeats. Detecting only the familiar rhythm of her Watcher. Expecting him to be waiting for her, she was surprised that he was not visible. She called loudly, "Hey Giles! What’re you up to?"

A moment later Giles appeared from the depths of the stacks. "What are you doing here, Buffy?"

The Slayer frowned. "I thought we had training. Training night? You know?"

"Are you sure? I thought you had something with your friends this afternoon."

Buffy turned as she heard footsteps approaching the door, and her vampiric hearing could pick up the sound of the two arguing voices before they walked in. She smiled at her two friends, "Hey guys!"

Xander smiled at her delightedly. "Hey, Buff!" He then turned to his best friend, "See, Will. Told ya she’d be here."

Willow looked at her best friend curiously, something was out of place, and she just could not see it. Absently she answered Xander’s comment. "Yeah, you were right."

Buffy too was haunted by a sense of misplacement. She took a harder look at Willow’s clothing; it was the style of un-fashion that she had sported when the two had first met. The type of clothing that had always inspired Cordelia’s worst insults. Additionally Willow’s long red hair was laying strait down her back. Since her involvement with Oz, the girl’s fashion sense had steadily improved, but now she looked like she had reverted. Buffy turned her attention to Xander. Like Willow, he looked like the nerd type he had been before he had been tamed by Cordelia. Buffy began to have a very bad feeling.

Xander, of course, had not noticed anything amiss. He continued his rambling. "So, we were supposed to meet out front, but you didn’t show. We figured you must be in here getting some doom and gloom prophecy." The Slayerette turned his attention to the Watcher. "So what’s the Hellmouth serving up today?"

Giles answered the question absently; he too felt something amiss. "Nothing, actually."

"Oh."

Willow finally realized something. "You’re hair." Buffy’s hands instinctively flew to her hair. "When did you change it?"

Buffy did not understand. "Change it?"

"Well, it’s blonde." Willow hastily added. "Not that there’s anything wrong with blonde. It was just longer and darker, yesterday."

The Slayer gasped as she finally realized what was going on, or at least began to get a clue. The others just stared at her in concern. Xander started to reach out a hand, and asked, "Buffy?" But she waved him away and sat down at the table.

Buffy hardly noticed as the other three gathered around her. She looked at her claddagh ring, and was relieved to see the steady beating of her lover’s heart. With that concern out of the way, she closed her eyes and reached out with her mind, tracing down all of the links that bound her to Angel. Unfortunately, she could find no sign of him. Carefully she rested her head in her hands, struggling to think clearly, and keep her emotions under control. The last thing she needed was to scare her friends by revealing herself as a vampire. As she concentrated she realized that wherever, or whenever, she was now, her Angel was not with her. But since her Angel was alive, she was alive. She missed him, because she could not feel him, but since he lived, her life was not in immediate danger.

Sufficiently calmed, Buffy raised her head and opened her eyes to see the two Slayerettes and one Watcher staring at her in concern. She smiled weakly at them, and asked, "I know this is gonna sound crazy, but what’s the date?"

Xander and Willow just looked at her as if she had gone insane, but Giles was kind enough to answer the question. "March 13."

Buffy closed her eyes in thought. She had not memorized the dates of her first set of adventures on the Hellmouth. Well, at least not most of them. The closest she could recall was the night that Angel saved her from the Three, April 8. Buffy wrinkled her nose in thought, and then turned to Willow, "When’s the zoo trip?"

Willow, although confused, answered the question. "Next Monday."

Buffy nodded her head; she knew when she was, now. Just not why. She sighed, and decided that it was time for an explanation. "Okay guys. This is gonna sound like insanity, but please remember that we live on a Hellmouth." She stopped as all her friends nodded in agreement. Willow and Xander exchanged glances and sat down across from her. Giles entered his pace and think mode. "I’m Buffy, but from the future. In fact, about two years into the future. I have no idea why I’m here, but I really need to get back."

Willow and Xander just stared at her. Giles finally broke the silence. "Are you sure?"

Buffy sighed again. "I’m way sure. I’m eighteen; I’m gonna graduate in a couple of moths. I’m, ah," Buffy thought to herself, better not try to explain Angel, "I’m still the Slayer. The Hellmouth is still attracting lovely beasties… And, I’m not quite sure how much of the future I should be revealing. I seem to recall it being a bad thing to talk about from Back to the Future."

The two Slayerettes were still staring at her, but as Buffy began to adjust to the situation she could see the changes in them. The innocence that had been lost, the lack of maturity. In Willow’s eyes she could see the youthful love that was still directed at Xander. Buffy sighed to herself. She could barely remember what it was to be that young. Of course, being demonic always was hard on innocence.

Giles still was not convinced. "I’ve never really heard cases of actual time travel. Are you sure this isn’t just some dream of yours?"

Buffy began to be annoyed. "And my hair just magically changed?" Buffy held up a hand as her Watcher began to protest. "Yes, yes, I know, I could have had it done yesterday." She frowned in thought and then turned a wicked smile on Giles. "You wear the Mark of Eygon."

Willow piped in, "The Mark of what?"

But Giles had paled and refused to comment. "Alright, I believe you."

"Great, now how do I get home?"

"I have no idea."

"Not great." Buffy frowned as another thought crossed her mind. "Where’s the me from now?"

Giles looked thoughtful, before answering. "I would guess she is wherever, or whenever, you came from."

Buffy winced at the thought. "That is not good."

"Why?"

The Slayer absently reached up to finger the crystal earring dangling from her right ear. "She’s way not prepared to deal with things in that time." Buffy sighed in resignation, since there was not much she could do about it. "I’ll just have to hope that, ah, the others figure out what happened."

As Giles finally began to process the situation he asked his Slayer, "So what happened? Did you feel anything? Anything at all that can tell us how you got here?"

"Not really. I was walking, to training. And then I felt a strange something. And then I was here. I wasn’t scanning or anything, but I should have felt anything powerful enough to drag me out of time. I mean that can’t be a common power, can it?"

"I don’t believe so. What do you mean ‘scanning’"

Buffy looked guilty, momentarily, before she answered, although not with the full truth, "Slayer senses. You know?"

"Ah. You, I mean the younger you, has not really demonstrated them."

Buffy sighed and looked straight at her Watcher. "Let’s just say that I went through a lot of pain. It had some interesting side effects."

Thankfully, her Watcher did not press the issue. "Can you explain your strange feeling?"

"Um. It was very brief. Tingly. Almost like electricity all over my skin. But only for a split second."

"And that’s everything?"

"About how I got here, yeah."

"I’m going to go look something up. You just stay here."

"Okay."

As the Watcher disappeared into the stacks, Willow turned to her best friend. "I should’ve seen it, I mean right away. You look, I don’t know, older."

"I’m older, Will. You just wouldn’t believe how much."

Xander interrupted the conversation. "So what’s it like? The future. I mean, what happens. What’re the winning scores for the games?" Both Willow and Buffy threw him nasty looks for that. "Alright. Do you fall in love?"

For a single moment, Xander thought he saw a flash of pain in Buffy’s eyes. But her voice was perfectly steady as she spoke. "’Til Giles tells me it’s okay, I’m not talking about the future. At all. No discussion."

Xander pouted, but Buffy refused to say anything more.

Giles wondered back into the silent room. "I believe I have a few places to look. Until I find out exactly what’s going on, I agree with Buffy. We must keep this time line as unsullied as possible."

"Which means?"

"No talking about the future. And since you were supposed to go out this afternoon, go out. Report back here at sunset, and I’ll tell you what I’ve found and we can discuss patrolling."

Buffy nodded her head. And the three friends headed for the door. "So what were we gonna do tonight?"

Buffy led her two Slayerettes through the chaos of the Sunnydale Mall expertly. She had already realized some of the consequences of being stuck in the past. One was that she had none of her clothing. The other two probably assumed that she could just borrow her other self’s stuff, but she knew better. Buffy was a vampire. She could not enter her old home without an invitation and according to Willow; her mother was out of town. One of the more interesting goals for the evening was going to be keeping her friends from finding out her true nature.

And so, Buffy was taking advantage of the Mall trip to buy some clothing for the next couple of days. Luckily, she tended to carry large amounts of cash with her. She certainly had no lack of finances, and it came in handy at the oddest times. Of course, she had never considered the possibility that she would have to use it to purchase a new wardrobe in the past.

Just before sunset, Buffy and her two Slayerettes were back in the library. Giles was doing explanations for the group. "So I believe that you did not actually travel in time. I don’t think that’s possible. But you are in an alternate universe." Buffy just stared at her Watcher. "Well, um, you see there are turning points, in the world. Some are just choices, or confrontations, and some are just weird coincidences. But each one changes the world. Each turning point creates another alternate world, depending on which ways the world changes. There are millions of alternate universes out there."

Buffy decided that the Watcher was not going to be stopping anytime soon, and she was getting a headache trying to understand his explanation. She interrupted the lesson. "Okay, spare me the details. Just tell me how to get home."

"I’m not exactly sure. There are several problems. First we need to find some way to access the alternate dimensions. As far as I know, there is no way to. Secondly, one needs to find the world that you came from, amongst all the alternate worlds. And third we need to create a portal to that world."

"Great."

"But you can talk about the future, if you think it will help."

"Great." For a moment Buffy thought about all the pain that was to come, and all the joy. She wondered if she would take this chance and break her other self’s heart, and spare her the pain of Angelus.

Thoughts of Angel led Buffy to think about herself and Angel. She was now a vampire, and she had neglected her rituals. Carefully she ran a check on her own body, to determine how badly it had been hurt by the transfer. She was not surprised when she discovered how low her power reserves actually were. She needed to feed, and soon.

With that realization, came the second realization. She needed Angel. Although her life was maintained because his was, the links were interrupted. She could not hear the pulse of his thoughts or feel his emotions. Buffy knew that it would only get worse without him, and since her Watcher clearly had no idea how to get her home anytime soon, she would need to ask help of the Angel from this time. The thought was painful, and she just hoped that Angel could admit the love that he had felt for her from the first moment that he saw her.

Eventually, Buffy stirred from her thoughts. The others were watching her in concern, but she needed to get this over with. She debated about finding Angel herself, but then decided that the whole team needed to know the truth. And she was going to need his help to hunt; she could feel herself growing weaker.

The Slayer glanced up through the skylight, but it was only habit. She knew how close it was to sunset. She could feel it in her blood. And it was close enough. She turned to the Slayerettes; "I need you guys to do me a favor."

"What kind of favor?"

"Deliver a message."

"What message?"

Buffy pulled out a piece of paper from the bag she was carrying and wrote out a quick note.

Willow looked at the note quizzically. "Angel? What does this mean?"

Buffy sighed. "I’ll explain, but to everyone at once."

Xander’s jealousy was evident as he turned on her, "You know where he lives?"

Buffy half-smiled. "Yeah, I know."

Fifteen minutes later two teenagers knocked tentatively on an apartment door. Dimly they heard a voice call, "Hold on." The door opened and Angel, dressed as he usually was in black jeans, a white T-shirt, and a black jacket, appeared in the doorway.

For a moment the three stared at each other. And then Angel broke the silence, "What are you doing here?"

Willow answered the question. "Running an errand for Buffy."

"Buffy? And how did you find me?"

As Willow handed over the note, while Xander answered the second question, "She told us where to find you."

Angel moved his attention from the Slayerette to the note, and as he read Buffy’s brief message he grew still. He was silent for so long that Willow began to wonder if he was still alive. She asked, tentatively, "Angel?"

Angel looked at her hard, "What does this mean?"

"She wouldn’t tell us. She said that we would all find out together."

The vampire spoke again, but his words were directed more at the world in general, than at the Slayerettes in front of him. "She can’t know, can she?"

Xander spoke up, "She knows a lot. She’s from the future."

That comment snapped Angel’s attention back to the humans. "What!"

Willow caught the expression on Xander’s face and moved to explain before Xander turned himself into even more of an annoyance. "Giles says that she’s from an alternate universe. And she’s from the future. About two years from the future. She said she won’t explain anything until you get there."

If he had been able to, the realization that Buffy probably did know the truth would have caused the vampire to pale. As it was he just mumbled an, "Oh God," before turning back to the Slayerettes and closing the apartment door.

Angel followed the Slayerettes into the library. He was not sure if he believed the note and the explanation that had come with it, but it had made him curious enough to follow. He hoped that Buffy’s claims were untrue, but he had the sinking suspicion that they were not.

And then the vampire came face to face with the Slayer. And as he did so, his eyes grew wide as his blood told him the one thing that he had never expected. He kept a rein on his anger, but only for the sake of the mortals. He did not want them to know what he was. He growled at the creature, who wore the face that he had fallen in love with, "Who did this to you?"

One corner of Buffy’s mouth turned up. She had not expected this reaction, but she realized now that she should have. "I forgot. One of the gifts of your blood."

Angel just glared. "How could you surrender? You’re a Slayer."

"Death is hard, Angel. Sometimes life is worth it."

"Nothing is worth this." Angel took a step closer, menacing. Buffy was dimly surprised that the others had not interfered, but her attention was focused on her love. "Now, who did this to you?"

Buffy sighed. "Why? So you can kill them?" Buffy did not wait for a response to the question, instead she continued ahead. "Do you really wanna know the answer to that question?"

The Slayerettes glanced between Buffy and Angel, unsure of what was happening. But the vampire only growled, "Yes."

Buffy sighed again and answered truthfully, "You did. I died my second death in your arms."

Angel was shocked, and he backed up a step as he struggled to understand. Xander and Willow had done some basic filling in, but he could not imagine a circumstance where he would change her.

Xander had missed the meaning in the conversation, but not the words. He muttered, "Your arms?"

Willow had also picked up words, "Second death?"

Buffy glanced at the two Slayerettes and answered their questions, "I’ll explain everything later, right now I have something else to deal with."

Angel looked around the room before turning back to the Slayer, "They don’t know, do they?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, they don’t. I didn’t wanna scare them."

"Why not? It’s what we do best."

"No. It’s what they do best. I’m like you. Can’t you tell? Did you really think you would have done this if I couldn’t have my soul?"

Angel briefly nodded his head in agreement before abruptly changing the topic of conversation. "So why did you want to see me?"

Buffy sighed. Briefly, she wondered how to space out the surprises she had for everyone, and then she decided to just get as many out as possible, especially with Angel. "Because, I need your help, lover."

Four people stared at her in complete and utter shock. But all of Buffy’s attention was focused on the current incarnation of her only love. Very slowly she raised her left hand. As usual, she was wearing only the one ring and she held it out for Angel to see. Her voice was very quiet as she said; "You gave this to me on my seventeenth birthday." Buffy glanced down at the ring on his right hand, and she knew that the gesture had not been lost on him.

Angel followed her gaze to the claddagh ring he wore on his right hand. The ring that he had worn for her ever since he had first seen her. And then he reached out to take hold of her left hand, turning it so that he could see the ring. He closed his eyes in thought. There were many things that he still did not understand, but he knew that he believed her. Eventually Angel opened his eyes again, and his voice was shaky, "So, you do know the truth."

"Yes."

"But they don’t."

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because it is a rather personal thing. Wouldn’t you say?"

Angel’s half-smile was full of pain. "What do you need?"

"My life, my soul is anchored through a set of links. And most of them are broken because I’m here and he’s there. Pretty soon I’m gonna go crazy unless I can anchor myself again. Now, most of them won’t work because of the differences. But one of them will."

Angel, the only person in the room capable of following that explanation, nodded his head. "Blood."

"Exactly." Buffy sighed. "And then I need your help to hunt. I’m nowhere near full strength."

Xander started to speak, but Willow silenced him with an elbow in the stomach. Willow saw the look on Buffy’s face, and for the first time she could read Angel’s face. She knew that Buffy’s claim was completely accurate. She loved him. Just as he loved her. Xander would just have to get over it.

Angel nodded his head. "I can help you. And I will. But…"

"But you’re not my Angel. I know. Seems like I went through this once already." Even Angel could not fathom the pain that colored that statement, but Buffy shrugged it off and continued. "Never mind." The Slayer looked around; "Do you wanna do this elsewhere? I mean?"

Angel shook his head. "No. They probably need to know. It’s just…"

"You didn’t ever want us to know your full name. I understand."

Giles entered the conversation, at last. "Your full name?"

Angel looked into Buffy’s eyes, and drew strength from the love he saw in them. It was the strangest feeling, but it was amazingly easy to do. "Angelus."

Finally, that name grouped with the conversation pointed Giles at the truth. He had the Watchers’ diaries. And the name was familiar. "Angelus? I need to consult my books."

Buffy smiled at the phrase but interrupted. "No, you don’t." She spoke the words quickly, to spare Angel. "Angelus. Once called the Scourge of Europe. Born two hundred and forty years ago in Ireland. Considered the most vicious vampire in the last four hundred years, and possibly the most evil ever created. Certainly one of the most powerful. Spent fifty years at the right hand of the Master." Buffy could feel Angel’s hand tremble in hers, as he fought the pain of memory, but she held on, willing him strength. "Cursed a hundred years ago in Romania with the return of his soul. And now serving the forces of good."

Three faces stared at the newly revealed vampire in shock. Predictably, Xander was the first to recover. "You’re a vampire!"

The anger in Xander’s voice wore on Buffy’s nerves, and as he scanned the table for a weapon, she was close to the breaking point. "You touch him and I will rip your heart out."

Xander froze. The threat was real, Xander knew that. He just could not believe that Buffy, the vampire Slayer, his friend, was defending a vampire. He could only stare at this new version of her.

Willow heard the first discordant note in Buffy’s voice. She had not been terribly surprised by Buffy’s behavior up until this point. She knew that her friend had been falling for the mysterious Angel, and although she had appeared older, she had still been the same Buffy. But this threat was an instinctive reaction to Angel being in danger, and it was out of character for the Buffy that she knew. But then again, the Buffy that she knew was not Angel’s lover.

Although he had been distracted by the conversation, Angel had been in Buffy’s presence long enough for the subtleties to begin to trickle into his consciousness. Although he had never been in the presence of a souled vampire, he was pretty sure that she was even more different. "You’re not quite, right." Angel did not know how to express it.

Buffy smiled up at him. "So you can feel it. I gotta go to school. Hard to do if I was ‘right’." Angel smiled, but did not understand. Buffy sighed and turned serious. "The memories are gonna be intense. You okay?"

"I’ll be fine."

"Pleasure or pain?"

"Well, that tells me what you are."

Buffy only smiled.

"I don’t wanna see you in pain."

"Alright."

Buffy carefully stood up, raising her right hand to his face. A moment later Angel brushed her lips with his. And as she kissed him back with passion, Angel knew without a doubt that her words were true. Only a true lover could know him so well. And as he touched her with desire, for the first time, Angel felt his face change. Even though he knew that she knew the truth, his instinctive reaction was to pull away. But Buffy only kissed him harder, and Angel realized that her face had changed as well.

Eventually, Buffy pulled away from the kiss, and the two vampires stared deeply into each other’s eyes, completely ignoring the crowd.

The three mortals were staring at the Slayer in shock. Even Angel’s true identity had not shocked them as badly as the knowledge that Buffy was a vampire. They were helpless to do anything as the earlier conversation between the two began to make sense.

Buffy could see Angel’s soul in his eyes, and it pleased her, it meant that what she was going to attempt to do might work. The biggest problem was that she would have to remember that Angel was still bound by the curse. She was making a big gamble that her memories would be confusing and painful enough to keep him from pure happiness.

Buffy raised her right hand to him, exposing the pulse point at the wrist. Angel offered her the same, even as he accepted her gift. Both vampires sank fangs into wrists at the same moment.

For Buffy, Angel’s blood was home. She had tasted that blood only three times. The third time they both had changed, and now she finally tasted the blood that had created her, and she was a vampire. And that blood was sweet. The blood link opened between them, and Buffy used it to forge a temporary link. It lacked the subtlety of the links, especially the empathic link, that bound her to the Angel from her time, but it would keep her aware of his life, or unlife, and that was what she needed to survive. Under normal circumstances she would also have gotten flashes of his memories, but most of those memories she already had, and so the flashes were easy to control.

Angel’s experience was very different. He had never tasted blood like hers before; it was a mixture of Slayer and vampire, and something uniquely hers. And with her blood, Angel saw flashes of her memories.

He quickly saw dim images of her childhood, but the flashes did not slow down enough for him to see until they reached the current time. Angel realized that he would be seeing flashes of a future that might or might not come to pass.

Angel saw himself save her from the Three. He saw her take him home, watched her sleep while he listened to her heartbeat. Angel saw their first kiss, and watched as he was revealed as a vampire. He saw their fight, and felt her accept his true nature. Angel felt the pain of separation, as he tried to remove himself from her life. And knew how he watched over her as she fought in the next months alone, still reeling from his loss.

Angel felt the pain and helplessness as he heard that she was going to die. And felt Xander’s desperation as he convinced the vampire to help her against the Master. And Angel felt the terrible pain as he felt the love of his life die. And the joy as Xander brought her back. And then she was gone for the summer and he felt the loneliness that only her presence had alleviated.

Her return brought him to her side, and no matter how hard he tried to deny it, he could not stay away from her. Angel watched flashes as the love between them grew. And he saw how his past returned to haunt him. He watched as Spike and Drusilla attempted to kill both of them.

The memories slowed even more, as he watched the events of her fateful seventeenth birthday. He felt the pain as he was going to leave her, as he placed the ring on her finger, and showed her the ring that symbolized all the feelings he could not admit. He watched as they fought the Judge, and barely escaped with their lives. And then, Angel learned the one shining moment in his life, the moment when he discovered that she loved him as much as he loved her. The moment when he gave her his soul in exchange for her innocence. And then, Angel learned the terrible cost that that one moment of happiness would extract.

The vampire watched in horror as the demon reigned for five terrible months. Angel learned the full nature of the curse that bound him. He watched Buffy endure torment after torment. Watched friends die, and innocents die. He watched her cry herself to sleep night after night, and wake up calling his name, while Angelus gloated outside her window. And then it came to an end. Angel watched their final confrontation. He saw his soul returned just in time for her to make the fateful choice, himself or the world. And he watched her make that choice with a single sword thrust.

Angel felt the tortures of the summer begin. He was tortured in Hell, and she was tortured on Earth. He felt her desperation, her loss, and the love that caused her so much pain. He watched as her friend returned her hope with the promise of returning him to the mortal plane. Angel watched as that friend sacrificed her life for the Slayer and her lover. He saw that Buffy’s love had never failed, and he learned the true cost of that love as a greater demon was released from her banishment.

And then the fall and winter, as the two of them adjusted to being soulmates, partners, and friends, but never lovers. Angel watched as they grew closer and closer, drawn by forces beyond their command. He watched as they flirted with the curse, but it never broke. And then the he saw terrible events of the trap that led him to offering Buffy his blood.

Angel felt again the love that sealed their links, and the beautiful sight of the two of them watching their first sunrise.

And then the link between them was snapped.

As the memory flashes stopped, Angel dimly realized that he was no longer drinking her blood. He felt her steer him into a chair as he struggled to assimilate the new memories. He realized that the flashes had included memories from both Buffy’s and his future self’s point of view. And that meant that she had his memories. The thought saddened him. She did not deserve to be burdened by his life.

The Watcher stared at the vampire struggling to recover, "What’s wrong with him?"

Buffy glanced at Giles for a moment, before returning her attention to her love. "One does not learn the truth of two years of pain, suffering, and love in fifteen seconds without some kind of adjustment. I remember how it was for me. Over two hundred years of memory flashes, and over a hundred of them evil beyond belief. But I survived, and so will he."

Willow and Xander exchanged a look, and obviously decided to be quiet for the moment. Giles continued pacing, unsure of how to voice his questions.

Eventually Angel opened his eyes and looked up at Buffy’s worried face. He gave her a tiny nod.

Buffy turned to the others in the room, and began, formally, "Thank you for your patience, but I’m sure you have questions. I’ll do my best, but I really have to hunt soon."

Three faces stared at the Slayer, unsure of how to ask all the questions that they had. Willow was the first to ask the obvious question, "You’re a vampire?"

Buffy smiled, "A half-vampire, actually. I have most of their abilities, but not their weaknesses. You saw me in the sun, remember? And before you ask, Angel was the one who changed me."

"Second death?"

Buffy sighed. "I died once at the hands of the Master. He used my blood to escape from his prison and then I drowned in a pool of water. But I was revived after a few minutes. I died the second time from a magical spell called hellfire. As I was dying Angel gave me his blood and everything changed."

None of the Slayerettes had a response to that declaration. The Slayer that they had known was gone, and they had no idea how to deal with what was in front of them.

The vampire with a soul took advantage of the break in conversation. Angel looked at Buffy, and asked quietly and with pain, "How can you bear it?"

The Slayer turned on him with amusement on her face, "What choice do I have?"

"None. I guess. It’s just hard to see it, hard to accept it."

"But it happened." Buffy changed the subject abruptly, she needed to feed and soon. "Anyway, I’m starving. You promised to help me."

Angel just looked at her. "I haven’t hunted for a very long time." Buffy realized that he was close to falling into a brooding-guilt trap. As much as she loved him, sometimes he could annoy her. Of course, the reverse was true; she remembered how much she had annoyed Anna with similar actions.

The Slayer thought through her possible courses of action. She had not lied, she knew him very well. "Well, I’m sure you’ll remember, my Angel of Death. It’s not that hard."

Angel’s eyes snapped up to hers, and she saw the anger in them. "Never call me that."

Buffy smiled. "Because Darla did? C’mon, Angel, don’t forget that you’re my sire. You taught me everything that I know. I have your memories. And I’m perfectly willing to use them against you. Now are you gonna help me get something to eat, or are you gonna sit here and try to brood while I torture you?"

Angel just stared at her in horror, for a moment. "Fine."

"So where are the hot spots these days?"

"The park and the Bronze."

"Umm. Not really up for humans. The park it is."

The two vampires walked through the early night, trailed at a slight distance by the still confused Watcher and pair of Slayerettes. As Buffy walked she stumbled, and instinctively Angel steadied her.

Angel studied her with concern, "What’s wrong?"

Buffy smiled weakly. "Used too much strength, to control the blood link. Just need to feed."

For a moment Angel thought, and then he stopped and made a tentative offer. "If you’re that bad, you can have mine."

For a moment Buffy studied him with hungry desire, and then she deliberately broke eye contact. "No. I don’t think that would be a good idea. I don’t want to hurt you," she murmured. And then Buffy seemed to realize what she had said, "Damnit! I can’t believe I just said that. Wow, the past really does haunt." The irony of the situation struck her, hard.

"What?"

"I can remember all the times you backed away from involvement with me, because you were afraid you would hurt me. And now look at me. The situational irony is a little harsh."

Angel smiled. "I guess it is."

The two continued on their way to the park.

Angel led the way, unerringly to Buffy’s first victim. A weak vampire was searching for anyone dumb enough to be out at night. The first warning of its doom was Angel’s fist in its face.

Buffy watched as Angel knocked the vampire around with a few well-placed blows, and then he held its arms behind it, and offered it as a gift to his love. Buffy accepted it. Hunger clawed at her as she allowed her face to change, and she wasted no time sinking fangs into the vampire’s neck. A few seconds later, as she had absorbed most of the vampire’s life force she snapped a stake out of its wrist sheath and stabbed it through the vamp’s heart.

Angel looked through the cloud of vampire dust to Buffy. He was concerned about her; she had drained more of her strength in the last day then he had taken into account. He still expected her to react like a true vampire, and she was not one. But he could see life return to her, as the blood surged through her veins, and she smiled at him in reassurance.

Buffy relaxed as new power flowed through her. For the first time since her summer in Los Angeles she could use her full Slayer senses. And it was like looking at a bright light after six months of shadows. It was blinding. After a few minutes of adjustment she frowned and spoke to her partner, "Two, I think they got a few joggers." As the two took off towards the woods the Chosen One muttered under her breath, "You’d think they’d have more sense…"

Buffy burst into a clearing where a vampire was toying with a victim. She ended its playtime with a roundhouse kick. And disabled it with a few more kicks and punches. Her trailing Watcher was stunned by how quickly she had taken the vampire out.

Even as she sank fangs into her second victim, Angel was seeing to the human. He sent her home with instructions to stay in at night, and then turned back in time to see the vampire turn into dust.

He followed as Buffy moved after the second, not even bothering to change her form back into human.

Buffy easily tracked the third vampire down. It took one look at the Slayer-vampire and the legendary Angelus and turned to run.

The two partners watched as the vampire decided to flee. Buffy and Angel turned to glance at each other, their smiles of predatory anticipation matched perfectly. Buffy’s voice was breathless as she asked, "Feel like a run?"

Willow and Xander watched the exchange with wide eyes. The night had been full of surprises, and the could not help but notice how much like evil vampires the two lovers looked before they took off.

Buffy and Angel pursued the vampire, reveling in the chase. They allowed it to think it had escaped before closing in for the kill. Neither was above tormenting the creature.

As the Slayer ended the third unlife of the night with a stake through the heart, she reveled in the power and the blood. The demon inside her was sated for the moment, and she was close to full strength. Three kills were enough to make her slightly tipsy, but it was a nice buzz.

The Slayer stretched her senses as widely as she could. Without the Alec’s interference, she could feel the beating of each undead life. A large cluster was underground, and Buffy knew that they were the Master and his minions. She was not ready to challenge his domain yet, but she was perfectly willing to take out as many vamps as she could.

The rest of the vampires seemed to be in the cemetery, probably waiting for a new child to rise. Buffy led the way to her new hunting ground.

Xander and Willow watched with awe as the Slayer and Angel fought the vampires. Both were raining blows on their foes at a speed far above mortal. Unfortunately, both were so engrossed they missed the vampire approaching from behind. Willow screamed as the vampire grabbed Xander.

Buffy heard Willow scream and turned from tormenting the vampires. The sight of a single foe menacing her friends sent her into rage. Without thought, she summoned her powers and created a fire.

The vampire exploded as a fireball scorched in. Xander turned in surprise to see Buffy, eyes and earring burning with power and a fireball held in her right hand. He gaped.

Willow stared at her friend. She had no idea what to say, Buffy as a vampire was somehow more acceptable then Buffy as a witch.

Buffy smiled in triumph, and assuring herself that the two Slayerettes were out of danger, she turned at threw the fireball at one of the vampires that Angel was fighting. She laughed as it exploded. "I just love setting vamps on fire."

Xander asked pointedly, "I thought you were a vampire?"

Buffy smiled, and looked at Angel, "I most certainly am."

"But…" His voice trailed off as he realized the implications of her statement. "Oh." He could not come up with a witty response. She was so different from the girl that he had known.

The Slayer walked towards her Watcher as she brushed the vampire dust off her clothing. The last vampire had just exploded from a stake that Buffy had thrown. Giles was still in shock from the things he had seen her do this evening.

"That’s the lot." The Slayer declared to her Watcher.

"What do you mean?"

"There are no more vamps above ground, right now."

Giles gaped.

"Slayer sense, Giles. I can feel any vamps in this whole city. Trust me, there aren’t any."

Giles slowly nodded his head, better to trust her word. "Um, yes, well, perhaps we could try to find a way to send you home now?"

The Slayer shrugged, "Works for me."

The next afternoon, Buffy slowly stretched her arms, rotating her head to ease the cramps caused by too much reading. Giles had been searching for the answer to her dilemma, and unfortunately too many of the books that he had found contained no useful information, just useless speculation.

The Slayer caught a glimpse of her Watcher out of the corner of her eye, and she turned to see Giles regarding her with speculation. "What is it?"

Caught the Watcher stumbled over his question, "Shouldn’t you be training?"

Buffy gave a laugh. "You just want to see if I’ve gotten any better."

"Well…"

Buffy chuckled again, and then paused with an almost serious expression on her face. "I guess I should get a work out." She smiled. "After sunset you can watch and see just how much better I’ve gotten."

Giles stared at her for a moment, trying to decode her cryptic message. "I’m not sure about this."

"Trust me Giles, you can’t do a full speed workout with me. Only a vampire can. And we seem to have only one available."

Buffy was sorting through the weapons in the library when she felt Angel’s presence. As she turned to face him the Slayer was holding matched swords, one in each hand. The vampire easily caught the blade that Buffy tossed him, and he examined it for a moment before looking a question at her.

Buffy smiled and only said, "Quick practice?"

Angel looked back at the sword and then replied with a quirky smile, "Only if you promise not to send me to Hell this time."

Buffy gasped in mock astonishment. "Was that a joke?" Her hand fluttered over her heart. "About yourself? The world must be ending."

Angel’s smile grew wider.

Buffy peered into his eyes, and said with seriousness, "I’m glad to see you smile."

"I did some thinking. What you gave me, the memories, there’re not mine, but they can guide. I hope."

"I hope you make the right choices."

Angel looked back at the sword he held. "Ground rules?"

"Umm. Full strength, full speed. I’m full fed, so it’s not a problem for me. I can always hunt for you afterward. Watch for decapitation strokes, other than that, anything goes."

"Are you sure?"

Buffy closed her eyes in thought. "Probably should avoid limb losing in general. Regeneration sucks." Angel only smiled in response. "And let’s keep it physical."

"Take away my best weapon."

"Well, of course. Oh, and if I, um, lose it. Heart’s my preference."

Angel nodded his head grimly. Although he did not quite understand it.

The Watcher watched in fascination as the two vampires practiced. Although the workout was clearly at full speed, with blades moving almost faster than human sight, it was clearly not a fight. Both were deliberately testing each other, using a full range of attacks and defenses. With full vampiric strength, both were taking minor injuries, but shrugging them off as their regenerative powers kicked in.

The end of the workout came to an end, the pace picked up, and Buffy took the upper hand. A few quick blows and she had disarmed her sparring partner.

Buffy and Angel cleaned up as Giles turned his attention back to his research.

Willow’s excited voice echoed through the library, "Ah ha!" All turned to the teenager pouring over a thick volume. The girl straightened up and said, "I think this might be it." She then started to read from the book, "I have seen what might have been, or perhaps what should have been. And it is so much better than what is. The darkness rules and I stand in victory. Keltran’s device has shown me what I should have had. Now I must find a way to take it."

Giles blinked his eyes, "Good Lord. An Orb of Keltran."

Angel closed his eyes in thought, "That just might work. It was used as a focus for demonic dimensions and portals, after all."

Buffy brought up the necessary point, "Great idea guys. Now where the hell do we find an Orb of Kelvin, or whatever?"

Giles rolled his eyes, "Keltran. And the Watcher’s have the only known one. It is too dangerous to leave unattended, and the things are virtually impossible to break. It is always kept with the Watcher of the current Slayer. Only she has the power to protect it."

"So why don’t I know anything about it?"

"It’s never been an issue. Most of the rituals to open demon dimensions using the Orb have been lost. I really only have it because of tradition."

Buffy rolled her eyes at her Watcher. "Fine you go get it, I’m gonna get a second opinion."

As Giles walked out of the room, Angel turned to Buffy and asked, "Anna?"

"Yep."

An hour later, Buffy looked into the Orb and carefully reached out with her Slayer senses. She had warned her Watcher that she did not know how to create a gate between worlds. But the important thing at the moment was to test whether or not she could use the Orb.

Without warning it started to drain power from her, and an image formed.

The image was of a ruined Sunnydale. Buildings were crumbling and demons wondered the streets, she wondered what had happened in that world. On the heels of the question the answer floated into her mind. She had not been chosen. With no Buffy, and thus no Angel, the Harvest had occurred. The Master had opened the Mouth of Hell, and the demons had destroyed the world. Buffy shuddered; she had always wondered what her life would have been like if she had not been chosen. It looked like it would have been a very short life.

Grimly the Chosen One focused her mind on the choices that had led her to her world. She saw another world, devoid of life. A world where even the vampires were gone, only true demons walked the earth, and there were very few of them. In this world, she realized that it was a world where the Judge had succeeded, and only creatures of pure evil were still alive.

That world set her to wondering, what if Angel and she had never been intimate? There had to be such a world. Desperately, she began to search. The images came fast and hard, different times and places for one moment of happiness, but she found no world where the two of them survived in which that moment did not occur. No world where they had stayed apart from each other. Their love was inevitable.

Resolutely, Buffy turned her mind back to her purpose; she quickly scanned through dead world after world. So many worlds where she had failed in her duties, and so few where she was still alive. She saw a world sucked into Hell, while Angelus and her newly risen body laughed.

Buffy finally realized how good her life really was.

And then Buffy saw it, the world that she came from. Her Angel. Instinctively, she gathered her power, and reached out.

The image that only she could see in the globe expanded, it became a curtain of light that everyone in the room could see. Three mortals and one vampire stared at the vision in wonder. The image showed the courtyard of Sunnydale High School, lit by the daylight. Angel stood on the edge, watching the school doors. But what shocked everyone else in the room, was that the vampire stood in the sunlight.

Buffy reached out her hand towards the image, and all of her longing, her love, and her desire were present in her voice as she called out, "Angel?" In the night-shrouded library, Angel heard her voice, and it sent a little shiver up his spine. Despite the memory flashes, he had not believed how much Buffy loved his future self, until this moment.

In the floating image, Angel turned at the sound of his lover’s voice. A weak echo of his voice floated in the library, "Buffy?"

As the two lovers reached out to each other, time itself seemed to slow. Buffy summoned all of her power. The Slayer’s eyes and earring glowed as she forced reality to change, as she forced the two disseparate worlds to join. She had told her Watcher the truth, she did not know how to create a gate, but she did it anyway.

Angel’s hand reached out through the curtain to meet Buffy’s, and for a single instant the two touched. Light began to form around their joined hands, as Buffy used her powers to return home. The powers of Hell could not help her in this struggle; she used her blood instead. The powers of a vampire she drew on relentlessly. Her blood had strength, being so close in relation to a true demon. And then that strength failed, and she was thrown away from her love. Buffy staggered on her feet, attempting to keep her hold on the other world. But she failed.

The image vanished in a flash of light, as Buffy collapsed to the ground unconscious. The four present shook off their shock and rushed to the side of the fallen girl.

Xander reached out to touch the unconscious Slayer, but Angel intercepted his hand. The Slayerette turned on the vampire in anger, "What?"

Angel’s full attention was on the Slayer, but he answered the question, "You don’t want to wake her up."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you know what vampires do when they first wake up?"

"Please tell me, I’m just dying to know."

Angel turned to look at him, "You would be. A vampire that is woken out of healing sleep, kills. It is instinct, to destroy what is hurting it."

Giles turned to the vampire. "How is she?"

Angel sighed in pain. "She’s dying."

"What?"

"If she was a true vampire, she might be alright, but she is much more dependent on her food supply than we are. A true vampire can deny the hunger for a long time, but she can’t. She needs to feed and soon. I give her ten to fifteen minutes."

Xander turned on the vampire. "You’re a vampire, open a vein for her."

Angel snorted. "If I was her Angel, that would work. But I’m not. I’m a true vampire." Angel closed his eyes for a moment. "I can save her, I know how to. But I’m not sure it will save her in the long run."

"Why not?"

"Because if I die, she loses her anchors. And I’m not sure she can survive that. Based on what she’s said, I’m not hopeful."

"What do you mean, die?"

"I’ve already died from one vampire bite, do you really think that I will survive a second?"

"She bit you before."

"It’s not the same. Do you remember what she said before she bit me?"

"Pleasure or pain?"

"Exactly. Things are different for vampires."

"Kinky."

"Not really, just different. A blood bond created with full consent can be used for many things. She used it to tie our lives together."

"Whatever."

Angel sighed and turned back to the unconscious Slayer, the woman that he loved. "After all this time, perhaps I have finally found something worth dying for." The vampire laid his right hand on her forehead, and spoke absently to the group. "You might want to back away, at least a little." He gave them a few moments to comply, and then spoke to the Slayer. His voice was barely above a whisper, but it contained all the emotions that he was feeling. "Buffy? Can you hear me?"

The half-vampire stirred a little, as something penetrated her sleep. Her eyes flickered momentarily. But the transition from unconsciousness to action was quick. As Buffy’s eyes slowly opened, her face contorted into a demon’s mask. In a second, she was launching herself at the only source of food in the room, the vampire Angel.

Angel made no move to defend himself, and he felt again the pain of fangs that ripped at his throat.

Angel opened his eyes to stare into the eyes that he loved more than anything else in the world. Buffy’s blue-green eyes appeared a clouded green by her sadness. And she whispered to him, "That was a very stupid thing to do."

"You were dying."

"Yes. I was. And now you are, too."

Angel realized that she spoke the truth. She had stopped before his death, but his body was lost in a fog. She had drained enough of his healing ability to throw him over the edge. He could not replace the blood loss. "Did it work?"

"If you are asking about me, I’ll be okay, physically. But I don’t have enough blood to save you. And when you die, I will probably go insane."

"Don’t. Go back to him."

Buffy snorted in response. And then she grew serious. "There is one thing. I can’t help you physically, but you know what I carry." Buffy waved a hand at her earring, and Angel nodded in understanding, she carried a gateway to Hell. "I can strengthen the demon in you, and that will probably save you."

"But I will lose control."

"Temporarily, until the energy evens out."

"No."

"I’m the Slayer, Angel. Do you think I can’t handle one extremely weak vampire?"

"You can’t handle him. I know what he is to you. I know what he did to you. I know what he will do to you."

Buffy pulled a silver blade out of her right boot, and she waved it in front of his face. "I can do it, I’m different now, and I have your strength."

Angel sighed as he realized that there was no way to convince her. "I don’t have the strength to argue."

"Good to hear." With that, Buffy laid her left hand on Angel’s forehead, and opened herself to the powers of Hell. She did so extremely carefully; she was still weak from using so much power earlier. But Buffy channeled power into the demon that shared her love’s body.

The Slayer released her power gently, as it burned her senses. She had done what she could though, bolstering Angel’s healing abilities through his demon. And she waited anxiously for a sign that it worked.

Angel’s eyes fluttered open, and she saw in them what she had hoped never to see again. She saw the demon Angelus, her greatest enemy. But it was not like the last time, because she knew what to expect. And because she could also see Angel’s soul, see it fighting for control. Buffy was dimly surprised by her ability to read the truth in her lover’s eyes, but perhaps it was to be expected.

Buffy glanced at the silver blade she held in her right hand, but she hesitated. She knew that she should get this over with, before she faced him, again. But she could not do it, again.

Angel looked into his lover’s eyes, and the corner of his mouth turned up. It was not a pleasant smile. He did not try to move, but Buffy could hear the smirk in his voice as he spoke to her. "Hello, lover."

"Hello, Angelus."

"And you still can’t do it. Can you? You can’t kill me."

"Maybe I just wanted to see you again."

"Who, little old me? You usually have better taste, Buff."

"Perhaps I just wanted to tell you how much I hate you, again. Just like old times."

"Don’t lie. It’s not an attractive trait, lover." The vampire slowly raised his hand to cup her face, and the Slayer made no more to stop him. "You may hate me, but you also love me."

"I don’t love you. Never have, never will. Do you remember our last meeting? You would have lost your head that day, if Angel hadn’t been restored."

"I remember the look in your eyes, lover. It was at that moment that I realized the truth. You hated me more than you loved him. I knew that I was first in your affections. It was then that I realized I should have given you immortality. Eternity at my side, you wanted it."

"You make it seem like I would have accepted that gift, from you."

Angel continued as if she had not interrupted, "But look at you now, I didn’t have to. Your precious Angel gave it to you for me."

"Perhaps, monster, but he also gave me my soul."

Angel only smirked more. "The soul that you gave him that night. You are my child as much as you are his love. He may have you, heart, mind, and soul. But you’re mine, blood, body, and true nature."

Buffy gave a strangled sound, somewhere between a growl and a sob. And Angel watched in surprise as Buffy swung her right hand down in an arc that ended in his chest. A blade through the heart could not kill a vampire, but it could hurt it, and this blow drove Angel into unconsciousness. Buffy knew that he would be out for a long while. His healing abilities were severely weakened. She was also reasonably confident that Angel’s soul would be in control when he did wake up.

And so Buffy sheathed her blade in her boot, and looked at the unconscious vampire for a moment, and then turned to stalk out the library doors.

Giles called after her, "Where are you going?"

"To get drunk."

"What!"

"I’m not in a good mood. I’ll see you tomorrow."

"Buffy, but you’re only eighteen."

Buffy laughed in response. Her voice floated back to him. "I’m a vampire, remember?"

The Watcher looked between the unconscious vampire on the floor and the door through which his Slayer had just walked. He realized that both needed guarding. For a moment he considered which needed him more, and then he realized that there was no way that the Slayerettes could deal with Angelus. Giles looked at the two shell-shocked children and asked gently, "Can you follow her? Keep her out of trouble?"

Willow and Xander looked at each other for a moment, and then turned back to the Watcher. Xander spoke for both, "Yeah."

Willow and Xander desperately tried to keep up with the Slayer. She was a deliberate killing machine. Tracking, draining, and staking vampires with ruthless efficiency.

After three kills she was slightly tipsy, after five she giggled at odd intervals. The Slayerettes attempted to intervene after seven.

Unfortunately, the Slayer’s response was: "Damnit! No, I haven’t had enough. Leave me the Hell alone."

Willow and Xander exchanged looks and decided to follow and pick up the pieces, if necessary.

When the threesome reached the park, Buffy pointed to the bench by the entrance, and in a deadly serious tone commanded, "Stay!"

The two Slayerettes stayed.

A half an hour later and no vampires, the two Slayerettes were still staying where the Slayer had left them. Buffy clearly was not going to be persuaded out of her mood. All they could do was watch, and that is what they proceeded to do. They watched as the Slayer continued to troll in the park. And they watched as a vampire blended out of the shadows to stand in front of her.

For a time, Buffy and Angel just stared at each other.

Buffy was the first to break the silence. She gave a little giggle and said, "You seem to be feeling better."

Angel’s voice was utterly serious as he replied, "And you’re drunk."

Buffy cocked her head in thought. "I think you’re right." And then a smile crossed her face. "Blood makes the pain easier to bear." She began to close the distance between them. "It has been so long for you. Fresh blood." Buffy stood in front of her vampire love. "Don’t you want it?" She slowly tilted her chin, offering him her neck, as she waited for his reply.

Angel closed his eyes as he fought the temptation. "Why are you tempting me?"

Buffy straitened and raised a hand to his face. "There is no temptation from without. I’m only offering you what you want."

Angel stared into the eyes of his Slayer and vampire love. "Why are you doing this?"

Buffy sighed and dropped her hand. "Because I almost lost you. Again. Tonight. How many times have I watched that? This is the third time that I’ve destroyed you. Why? Why do you keep coming back to me?"

"Because I love you."

"It’s a vicious cycle. I love you. You love me. I destroy you. You hurt me. And so on. Why? Why is there so much pain? I’ve sacrificed so much for this world. So much for my destiny. Why can’t I have this one thing?"

"I don’t know, Buffy. There are no easy answers."

Tears began to fall down her face. "Please, take away the pain. Make it go away, if just for a moment."

Angel smiled, just a little, and laid a hand on her face. Buffy instinctively turned into his hand, desiring the caress. "I would, if I could. But if I take away your pain, you will take away mine. And you know how the cycle ends."

Buffy pulled away from him, and looked at him hard, "Then who am I? Why am I here? I don’t even know who I am without you, anymore. I define myself by the moments that I’m with you. So tell me, what do you see when you look at me? Who am I?"

"I see the best Slayer the world has ever known. The only person who could survive what has been done to you. I see the only woman I have ever loved, and the only soul that I shall ever love."

Buffy sighed, and the tears began to roll down her face in earnest. Angel caught her as she started to crumple, and let her cry on his shoulder. Only a vampire’s hearing could catch her words, "Angel, take me home."

The Slayer slept under the protective watch of her Angel. She was sleeping in his bed, and every so often he paused in his reading to watch her breathe. He was searching the diaries of various vampires for any mention of alternate universes, but the thought of her in his bed was more than a little distracting.

As he turned the page of his current volume his eyes widened, and he whispered, "This is it."

Buffy cautiously walked into the classroom after school. She had wanted to do this alone, but Willow had insisted on coming, and when Xander had found out, he had come along also. She saw how the sunlight fell on the desk, where the computer teacher was working on her computer.

The Slayer was not looking forward to the coming confrontation, but she had realized that it would be her only chance to make amends, even if only in such a small way.

Ms. Calendar looked up from the computer screen as she heard the footsteps of students. She was surprised to see Willow and her two friends. "Willow. What’re you doing here?"

But Willow did not answer the question; instead Buffy walked forward and spoke quietly. "Hello, Janna."

Jenny stood up and narrowed her eyes at the blonde haired student. "How did you know my name?"

Buffy smiled a smile that contained only pain. "Don’t you know who I am?"

"No."

"Are you sure? You were sent here to watch Angelus, weren’t you?" Jenny just stared at the girl who seemed to know her secrets. Buffy continued, "I would think you would know who he hangs out with."

Jenny slowly nodded her head. "Yes. I was sent here to watch Angelus. But he is very elusive. I don’t know who you are."

"My name is Buffy Summers, and I am the Slayer."

Jenny nodded her head again. "Of course, this is the Hellmouth." She then frowned in puzzlement. "So why are you talking to me?"

Buffy sighed in pain. "Because I know things that you don’t. So much pain that can exist in the future."

"I don’t understand."

"I know. But just listen. I blamed you for the loss of the only person that I truly loved, that truly understood me. Because I could not handle only blaming myself. And yet you were a friend, and I forced my Watcher to choose between us. I only found out that I could forgive you, when it was too late. And so now I’m saying it to you, the closest I will come to her. I’m sorry that I couldn’t let go of my hate until it was too late. I’m sorry I couldn’t kill him for you, when I had the chance."

Jenny just stared at the girl. "I… I don’t understand."

"I’m from the future. And where I come from, you became our friend. But you never told us who you were, until everything went wrong." Jenny still looked utterly confused, and Buffy chose to stay and clear up that confusion. "I believe that you didn’t know. Not until it was too late, but I still blamed you. You see, I love Angel, I love him with all my heart and all my soul."

"He is a monster."

"No. Angelus is a monster. Perhaps the worst vampire ever created. I know what he did to your people, I probably know better than you."

"You can’t. What he did is beyond imagination."

Buffy stood in the sunlight and smiled at the gypsy. "Look at me." As she said the words, her face changed. Jenny backed up a step in fright. But Buffy smiled. "Sunlight, remember? I’m not a full vampire. But I do have Angel’s memories. I know exactly what he did to your people, and how he did it."

"You have his memories? And you still love him?"

"Yes."

"How?"

Buffy sighed, and her face returned to its human form. "Because I know the difference between Angel and Angelus, which is the one thing your people never did figure out. You torture Angelus by using Angel’s soul, but in doing so, you are also torturing one of the few pure souls I have ever known."

"They are one in the same. His pain will be eternal."

"Ah. That is where the story gets interesting. You see, his pain doesn’t have to be eternal. There are forces that can take it away."

"Like what?"

"Like love. I loved him," Buffy held up her left hand, displaying her claddagh ring, "We were engaged on my seventeenth birthday. I married him less than a month after my eighteenth." Buffy sighed, "But that’s not important now. What matters is that I loved him. And because I did so, I took away his pain, if only for a moment. And do you know what happened then?"

"What?"

"The curse. The curse that your people created was meant for Angelus, but it hurt Angel more. That curse was broken by a single moment of pure happiness. And his soul was lost. And Angelus the monster was back."

"But…"

"But, what? I was faced with trying to kill my lover. After all, that is a Slayer’s duty, right? But I couldn’t. I loved Angel too much. And I hated myself, because I had destroyed the only person I truly loved. And I hated you, because you knew the truth. And I couldn’t forgive you, until it was too late."

"Too late?"

"Yes, too late. I don’t know what will happen in this world, when I am gone. But I am glad that I had the chance to see you again, or at least a shadow of the woman that I once had as a friend. Just to say I’m sorry to you."

Buffy turned and started to walk out the door, but Janna of the Kalderash people called after her, "Wait."

The Slayer turned back to the gypsy. "Wait for what? Angel knows about the curse, now. The things that happened in my world will not happen here. I hope that means that everyone involved will have a happier life. I don’t know that. But I can hope."

Jenny looked at the girl, and she could see the sorrow and pain in the young Slayer’s eyes. But she could also see the joy and love. "I hope that you find peace."

"I wish the same to you."

With that, Buffy walked out of the room. The two Slayerettes who had watched the conversation, looked at the teacher for a moment, and then followed the Slayer.

Willow walked at the side of the Slayer. "So, was that true?"

"What?"

"What you told Ms. Calendar."

"Yes."

Giles watched as the Slayer walked into the library. Outwardly she bore no marks from the previous evening’s fiasco. But the Watcher knew that there were emotional scars. For the first time he respected the amount of emotional baggage this version of Buffy carried.

As Buffy took a seat at the table without saying a word, Giles carefully asked, "So Willow said that you have an idea?"

Buffy sighed, "Yes." She pulled out a small leather bound volume that Giles had never seen. "Anna suggested something that led to this."

"What is that?"

"A journal of Irian, a powerful sorceress/vampiress. She was destroyed about five hundred years ago. Anyway, Angel was researching last night and found a passage in here that gave me an idea."

"Where, I mean, how did Angel find that book?"

Buffy smiled. "Angel’s library is more extensive then you might think. Something to consider during your next research party. Anyway, I discussed it with Anna this morning, and we think that a magic user creates a gate by sharing power with a magic user on the other side."

Giles nodded his head slowly; "The power loops from one to the other and then back again. That makes sense." The solution was ingenious. And then a thought occurred to him. "Wait, the other Buffy isn’t a sorceress."

Buffy giggled. "Technically, neither am I. But I hadn’t intended to try it with her, anyway."

"Oh?" Giles asked, puzzled. And then realization struck. "Oh!"

Buffy turned serious, but there is another problem. "Even though I tried a brute force solution, yesterday, I don’t think I have enough power to create the gate even doing it properly."

"But, I thought, Anna?"

"No, her power doesn’t work for this, I have to use my vampire blood. And it’s not strong enough."

Giles frowned as he tried to think of solutions, "So you’re going hunting?"

"In a manner of speaking, I need the blood of a very powerful vampire. The blood of the strongest, and lucky me, I know where to get it."

The Watcher’s eyes widened as he realized what his Slayer was proposing to do. "Oh! Oh Dear. Are you sure, Buffy?"

Buffy’s smile was pure predator; "I have no intention of letting her face that thing down there. I’m gonna close the Hellmouth for her. I’m gonna kill the Master."

Buffy stood at the last turn before the sewers opened into the Master’s lair, although her memory of her decent into Hell was hazy, Angel had remembered the way.

She looked around at her friends. "This is it." The others nodded. Buffy sighed, "You’ll know what happens, it’ll be pretty hard to miss."

The Slayer started to walk into the darkness when she realized she could not go to her possible death without one more thing.

She turned and walked back to Angel. Stopping to take hold of his hand, allowing their fingers to entwine and their rings to touch, she began to speak in a quiet voice. "I promise to love you for as long as my soul exists. I promise to follow you through darkness, through fire, through hell. I promise to light your way and your world. I promise to share my destiny with you, and help you with your own. All this I swear before all the powers of light and darkness."

Angel swallowed with difficulty. "Your wedding vows."

"Yeah."

Touched beyond words, Angel only managed to whisper, "Thank you."

Buffy glanced at the humans and turned back to Angel, "Keep them safe for me."

"I will."

Buffy pushed herself closer and kissed him quickly on the lips. "I love you."

As the Slayer pulled away from him, Angel said quietly, "I will always love you, in all lifetimes."

Buffy smiled as she walked into the shadowy lair.

As Buffy walked into the Master’s lair he turned in surprise. She smiled and said, "Nice place you have here."

"You!"

"Yep, me."

"But it’s not the time."

"Sorry, I failed prophecy 101."

"Well no matter." The Master extended his hand toward the Slayer. "Come here, girl."

Buffy smiled a wolf’s grin, "Sorry that trick doesn’t work on me. A fringe benefit of death."

"It is your only one."

Buffy smiled, "I wouldn’t say that." She summoned her power and created a fireball, which she promptly through at her enemy.

But it did not do what she expected, the power that made up her spell was sucked into the half-open mouth of hell, and no fire reached the Master’s waiting form.

The Master smiled. "Sorry girl. This is my Hellmouth. You can’t use such tricks against me."

"Then I guess I have to do it the old fashioned way." Without that the Slayer closed with the vampire, beginning a high-speed attack run.

Unfortunately for her, the Master was as strong as she was, and he was faster. Slowly, as blows were traded that would have destroyed lesser creatures, the Slayer realized she was losing.

The realization crossed her mind, if she died here she destroyed to worlds. This one and her own. If she died she would die without her Angel’s love. Determinedly she turned on her enemy, she would not lose.

With renewed fury, the little Slayer attacked. Looking around during a free moment, she reached out with her powers and kinetically picked up one of the heavy candelabrums that littered the room. With all her magical strength she threw the object into the vampire.

Off balance and retreating, the Master met his doom; the Slayer’s fangs pierced his throat, as her weight bore him to the ground. And then the Master met his final death with the Slayer’s stake embedded in his undead heart.

A keening scream filled the chamber as the Master died and his body collapsed on the ground.

As the Master’s flesh turned into ash, leaving only a bleached skeleton, Buffy crumpled to the ground, curled into a fetal position.

Angel burst into the room with the Slayerettes on his heels. He quickly assessed the situation, and ran to his love’s side. Gently he reached out to touch her back.

As flesh touched flesh, Buffy growled low in her throat and as she turned to face Angel, her face was clearly demonic.

He spoke to her quietly and without fear, "Easy, love. Fight it."

Buffy growled again.

"It’s not you. You can fight it."

Willow slowly approached, but Angel waved her away imperiously.

After a few more minutes of Angel’s soothing words, Buffy’s face morphed back to human and she collapsed into his waiting arms.

Angel held her gently, slowly rubbing her back.

Giles watched as Buffy slowly recovered. Eventually Buffy sighed and said, "Spit it out Giles."

"Um. Yes. Well, I had a question."

"And it is?"

"The Master, a demon of power and you could not control it."

The Slayer regarded the Watcher in surprise, she was unsure of what he was getting at. "Yes. Too much evil, I got a piece of it with his power and blood. It strengthened my demon almost too much."

"But you nearly drained Angel, yesterday."

Buffy’s eyes widened, as she finally understood what Giles was asking. "You want to know why Angel’s blood did not affect me in the same way?"

"Well. Yes."

Buffy smiled. "Have you ever heard the term soulmate?"

"A term used to describe some relationships. A bond that ties two souls together, but which was created at the moment they first see each other. Usually expressed as love."

"Yes. Angel is my soulmate."

Giles’s eyes widened, but he chose not to argue. "That does not explain it."

"True. Angel carries the other half of my soul. But it is more than that. He carries the other half of my demon. And I know how to deal with my demon."

Angel looked down at Buffy in surprise, and shock.

The Slayer slowly stood up as she acclimated to the new blood in her system. After a moment or two she looked around and told the group at large, "Guys, I hope you do well. Use what I gave you. Make a good life."

Solemnly she met everyone’s eyes and waited until they nodded their heads in acknowledgement. She then turned to Angel.

The vampire with a soul was smiling sadly. He was going to miss this girl, but she deserved to be with the Angel that could love her without fear.

"Angel, make it work," she pleaded. "I don’t know how, but find a way. Love her, don’t give up on it."

It was, perhaps, the hardest thing she could ask of him, but he knew that he could never leave Buffy, could never deny her anything, and so he promised, "I promise."

"I’ve tried to give her the life I would’ve wanted. No Master, no death, no Angelus, no summer from Hell. But the rest is up to you."

"I’ll do my best."

"And be happy." She paused and made a face, "Well, not happy happy, but, well, as happy as you can be."

Angel smiled at her verbal blunder. "I understand, and I’ll try. With you around it’ll be possible."

The two exchanged speaking looks and then the Slayer pulled the Orb of Keltran out of a jacket pocket.

Buffy reached out with her mind and activated the Orb. As it began to show alternate dimensions, she quickly found the correct universe. As her powers touched the vessel, the glowing image expanded into a curtain of light.

In that world Giles stood with Angel in the ruined Master’s Lair. Joyce Summers had her arms wrapped around a bruised and battered Buffy. The other Buffy looked like she had been through a war, her worst injuries were the ring of bruises around her neck and a nasty looking cut on her forehead. A worried looking Cordelia Chase held Buffy’s free hand. Willow, dressed in a party dress, and Oz in a nice looking suit were standing to one side, talking quietly. Xander was looking around the lair making faces at what he found.

Willow and Xander starred at the older versions of themselves. They were so different from what they had expected. Willow wondered who the young man that her other self was with was.

But before either could voice a question, Buffy’s eyes began to glow and she reached out to her Angel. Rather than trying to force her way to his side, she sent him her power.

Angel caught the power and awkwardly sent it back to his love. Between the two of them, they wove a gate of light. Between the two worlds was a portal, the only way home. For a moment, everyone wondered what it would be like to live in that other world.

When the gate was complete, Angel beckoned to Joyce, and the mother led the daughter to the edge. The two Buffys entered the gate together, and light blinded everyone.

When sight returned Buffy Summers, The Chosen One of the End Times was home.

Buffy’s first act was to throw herself into Angel’s arms, desperate for contact after their separation. He hungrily returned her kisses, as desperate as she was, perhaps more so.

After a minute of reassuring herself that he was alive and well, she broke the kiss and turned to her friends, all without leaving his embrace.

"How’re you guys?"

Xander whined, "It’s been awful."

Willow and Oz exchanged glances and then Willow walked over to give her friend a quick hug. "I’ve missed you."

Buffy smiled, "I’ve missed you too."

The Slayer turned to Cordelia, expectantly. Of everyone, she was most surprised to see the girl here. Cordelia just shrugged. Buffy left it at that, she knew how much working with the Slayerettes hurt the girl.

Giles coughed slightly and Buffy turned in her lover’s arms to look at him. "There are some things we need to discuss, but tomorrow should be soon enough. There is no current crisis."

Buffy sighed, music to her ears. "I’m so glad. That universe hopping was pretty hard on me." The Slayer then turned to her mother. "Are you okay?"

Joyce slowly nodded her head. Her voice was tight as she spoke her heart, "Baby, I’m so glad you can take care of yourself."

Buffy smiled in reassurance. "So am I."

After satisfying her friends that she was all right she turned back to Angel. Without hesitation both morphed into their vampiric forms and sunk fangs into each other’s necks. Desperate to end their aloneness, to reforge the links.

The blood finally convinced Buffy that she was home.

Joyce Summers looked from her daughter and Angel to the Watcher. She spoke only a single word, but the question was on everyone’s mind. "Why?"

Giles sighed, and answered truthfully, "I don’t know."

Buffy released her bite to reclaim Angel’s mouth. And as the passion flared with the kiss, she reached out, and moved them to a more private location.

Everyone left in the room gaped as the two half-vampires teleported away.

Xander turned from staring at the vanished lovers to Cordelia, only to discover that she had already left. He turned back to the others in the room with a sigh, Oz and Willow were heading toward the exit together, laughing quietly. So the Slayerette turned to Giles, and said with a grin, "My, people sure come and go quickly, around here."

The following evening, Buffy sat in the middle of the circle of crystal in her home. She was staring into the faintly glowing Orb of Keltran.

As she watched, a faint smile appeared on her face.

Back to: The Coming of the Light.